Sunday, December 28, 2008

Damn Wankers

Home game was last night and it was a record turnout: 19 players.  Wait, let me clarify.  There were 18 players and a Brit. 

Not your average Brit.  Nope.  This one was a young hawtie that was bought in by his American friend (another young hawtie) that likes to play poker.  The Young American (YA) is the son of a neighbor.  He has played in and won the local Legion's charity game in the past.  My game was just a stop over for them on the way to a bar, any bar would do, or so they said.

YA was a little miffed with the Brit took his first buy-in.  It didn't take long for us to figure out that the Brit was playing just about any two cards.  Problem was he was hitting big time with them. 

I played my usual nitty game.  I gave up limping in with suited connectors when I kept getting raised off pre-flop.  After I had spewed about 20% of my chips I just had to wait patiently for a hand.

In the mean time the Brit was tearing up our table.  TOH was cleaning out the other table for a while before he spewed some chips to a player that had just rebought.  It wasn't long after then end of the rebuy before TOH was out.

The short stacks started falling out fast after the rebuy period ended even though we extended it one level since we weren't even getting in an entire circuit in per level.  The Brit was calling all-ins with any two cards and hitting.  The worst part was when he would pick up a real hand.  No one was expecting him to actually HAVE A HAND!

The Brit took out the YA, again.  Mutterings of "Wanker" were repeatedly heard from then on.  YA was kind enough to deal for us but we were all starting to wonder how rigged this was when the Brit kept getting hands that hit hard.  The Brit once flopped a boat and got the other guy to ship in after a modest bet from the Brit.  Another time the Brit limped in and flopped the nut straight and got 2 other people to ship it in drawing nearly dead.  That's right he took out two players in one hand with 9To.

I managed a nice triple up with AQdd.  The short stack under the gun shipped it and I wasn't going to fold this hand since I was almost equally as short.  The Brit wasn't going anywhere either.  My AQ managed to outflop the short stack's Kx and the Brit's Jx.  Woooooooot!

Not long after my triple up I picked up AA.  I went ahead and raised 3X because I thought I had a better chance of getting called; I was pretty sure a shove wouldn't get me anything but the blinds.  I do get a call from the BB.  The flop comes out T high.  BB checks to me and I debate about shipping but just put out a reasonable bet.  The BB hems and haws and then ships it on me.  I insta-call, ldo.  He turns over a week T and I almost break him.  The BB was left with 400 chips (blinds at 400/800) and he managed a couple double ups to get back in the game but did eventually go out before the money.

I spewed almost all of my stack when I limp/called the Brit's raise with 77.  The flop came A baby baby and was checked around.  I bet the turn and the Brit called.  I checked the river and he bet enough to almost bust me but I just couldn't see how he could be good here.  Well, that's because I would have never put him on KK (the second time he had KK at this table).  D'oh. 

The BB hit me and took about half my chips.  I had 9To.  The Brit had limped in like he did most every other hand.  The flop came AJ9.  SB checked I shipped and the Brit called like he did almost every all-in that he was in on.  The SB also called.  At this point I pretty much new I needed another 9 or T to win this hand.  The turn came out and didn't help me.  The Brit goes all in and the SB tanks.  She eventually calls with nothing but a flush draw.  The Brit shows J6 for a turned two pair.  The river was a T but still not enough to save me.  I busted on the bubble because the SB had more chips than I did.  Damn Wanker!

Sigh.  I hate bubbling my own game.

In one hand we went from 5 players to 3: The Brit with a ginourmous stack, Jack and Scoot who were both short stacked in comparison.

I didn't witness Scoot's demise but I'm sure it wasn't pretty.

Jack doubled through The Brit just before the last hand - I think he turned a flush.  The final hand was epic.  The Brit flopped a flush while Jack hit a set.  All the chips went in on the turn and the river boated Jack!  The Brit was left with 1 1k chip and conceded defeat.  BTW, TOH doubled up Jack right after he had rebought earlier in the night!

This was truly an epic night for the Zooks home game.

I expect the next one to be just as epic:  Khanwoman is coming for a visit over Martin Luther King weekend.  Nuff said.  And, yes, all y'all are invited!

Friday, December 26, 2008


TOH had decided years ago that we weren't buying one of those console game systems for our children.  No Sega.  No Xbox.  No hand held systems either.

We did indulge them in some of the retro style plug-in TV games a few years ago.  You know the ones: Pacman, Space Invaders, etc.  They played them but not very much. 

This is the first year that I tried to pull one over on my kids.  They are getting to the age where they don't really want toys anymore.  They play on online game that I've already purchased a significant amount of "Cash" so that wasn't an option. 

The Wii was a fascinating concept.  We knew lots of people that have them and swear they are the coolest game they've ever bought.  After seeing some of the games I was starting to change my mind about getting one for our family.  The challenge would be convincing TOH that we should get one.

Several months ago I floated the idea at TOH and was promptly shot down.  I gathered my courage up for another assualt.  This time I succeeded.  So I secretly began my acquisition of all the accoutrement de Wii. 

I scored a system bundled with 3 controllers & nunchuks as well as a couple of games.  Rock Band, Guitar Hero Aerosmith, Wii Beach Sports, Wii Music, Wii Fit, charging stations - I was nothing if not thorough. 

I picked up one last controller and nunchuck to max out at 4 - one for each member of the family and enough for the kids to have a free-for-all with their friends.  System completed in complete secrecy.  I even had most of this stuff sent to the inlaws house so no nosy boys would suspect anything.

Then, one night a few days before Xmas, the boys asked about some books I had ordered for them from  I pull up my recent orders and we look for the needed information when I happen to scroll down just a tad too far and what comes into view but my final order for that last controller & nunchuk.  Pwned. 


Epic Fail. 

They were on to me. 

I still had a few surprises up my sleeve but the Main Feature was out of the bag. 

Less than an hour after unwrapping we were playing Mario Kart, and Wii Sports.  Mario Kart kicked my ass but I pwn Wii Fishing. 

My oldest was up at the crack of dawn setting up the Rock Band.  He even tried out MY WII FIT before I got a chance to inform him that he was not to play with my game!

Well, it's time to school them Zooks boys!  I need all the Mario Kart practice I can get...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

From the Zooks family to yours!

Zooks97: But it doesn't have a Wii!

Zooks64: And neither do you! Bwahaahahahhaahah!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Wicked Chops Poker

I'm a big fan of Wicked Chops Poker.  They just know how to present poker in the best light.

Every now and then they find a story so compelling, so unique, so not related to poker that I'm left breastless, er, breathless.  This is one of those days.

Please be forewarned.  This is definitely not for the faint of heart.  Only the brave should press that play button.  And, if you're at work, well the risk is yours but this is clearly NSFW/H/K (not safe for work/home/kids) and probably not TOH (the other half).  Just sayin.

Link: Fleg Master Tlpizza

Marathon Poker & WBCOOP

I ended up 3/6 for the preliminary events of the WBCOOP (World Blogger blah blah blah of Poker).  I'm definitely not in sufficient shape to be playing that much poker in one week.

The first event, PLO, started Monday afternoon.  I played just nitty enough to make it into the "money" and earned my seat at the Final Event which freed me up to play like an idiot for the rest of them if I was so inclined.  I have to admit that I'm probably genetically incapable of playing lagtard poker.

I played Tuesday's event, NLHE, and made it deep enough to score a Step 2 token.  I'd never played the steps on PokerStars but Snuffy has played plenty of them.  That's when I formulated my plan: score as many seats to the Final Event that I could to prevent somebody else from getting that seat.

Wednesday's event, PLO8, didn't start until 9pm local time.  Now, I have to admit this isn't my strongest game.  For the most part I'm not a fan of the split pot games.  I wasn't convinced that I wanted to play this game but I was awake still so I went ahead and registered.  I sweet talked predator06, a friend of mine from Full Tilt Forum and a successful PLO8 player, into railing me while I played.  I managed to make it to the final table of this event!  When we were down to the final two tables I couldn't manage to scoop a pot no matter how far ahead I was.  It was so bad that another player commented in chat that I was only good for half a pot.  Finishing 9th scored me 2 $215 buy-in tickets!  Woooooooot!

I played the PLO8 for about 5 hours and I didn't make it into bed until after 2am.  I had to get up with the kids, make their lunches, and make my pot luck dish for the bowling banquet.  I get to bowling after a stop at Home Depot to pick up salt for the impending ice storm.  I bowled a 600 series, enjoyed the banquet and headed home before the storm hit later that day.  I made it home just in time to register for Thursday's NLHE WBCOOP event.  I was so incredibly tired and brain fried.  I played horribly and went out early.  I was back in bed within minutes after getting knocked out.

I played the next two events but didn't score a seat even though I finished within 30 or so spots of getting a seat.

Sunday rolled around and all I could think is, "WTF, srsly? I gotta play MORE poker?"  I don't think I've ever played this much poker in a week in a long, long, LONG time.  There were 432 seats available for the Final Event but only 369 seats were awarded - I guess I wasn't the only one that scored multiple seats!

Let's just say that the 368 other players were definitely not donkeys for the most part.  My table was unusually tight.  I played my regular nitty game.  I did manage a much needed double up with KK.  Other than that nothing much happened for me.  I went out with AK < TT all in pre-flop to finish about 130.  Prizes started at 100.

All in all this was a good week for me even though is was pretty rough going there for a couple days.  I pleased with how I played for the most part.

Now I just have to figure out what to play with my $215 tickets.  Unfortunately the aren't transferable and they are not $T that can be spent in any amount.  So look for me to be playing some high buy-in event that's totally out of my bankroll sometime in the future.

Wish you could have played this event?  Don't be a pussy!  Sign up for a blog at Blogger and start posting.  If I can do it anybody can!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Epic Mac Chat

I've been saving these up for some time now.  I know Mac has been on pins and needles waiting for me to post it cause, well, he's an attention ho, ldo.

Mac: and now that you have my address, I expect a christmas card
Zooks: lol, I had your address a while back
Mac: hmm
Zooks: and I'm sending all cards out by email from now on
Mac: ah
Mac: and i gave it to you?
Zooks: yeah LOL
Zooks: oddly enough
Mac: truly odd

Mac orders his new screaming laptop that he'd been showing me

Zooks: I'm giddy for you
Zooks: how sick is that?
Mac: yeah, that's pretty freaky
Zooks: eff you
Zooks: I can't help it
Zooks: I love techy shit
Mac: now I have your address
Zooks: yeah
Mac: be wary
Zooks: I expect flowers on our anniversary
Zooks: hahahahahhahahahah

Zooks: I'm trying to get my hair done to get outta here for appt
Zooks: sigh I hate running late
Mac: go the sinead o'connor route
Zooks: I've threatened something similar when I get tired of coloring my hair
Mac: although, girls with really short hair have always been bat shit crazy
Mac: except for that chick that was on northern exposure
Mac: she seemed stable
Zooks: yeah she was stunning I thought
Zooks: huge eyes
Zooks: and who says I'm not bat shit crazy?
Mac: I woulda boned her
Zooks: ldo
Mac: I'm not saying you aren't, but do you really want people to assume you are at first glance?
Zooks: nah, I wanna watch their eyes as the realization slowly hits them
Mac: definitely a better plan

Mac is waiting for UPS guy to deliver his new laptop

Zooks: 3pm where's that damn ups guy?
Mac: prolly having his way with my wife
Mac: "I have a package for you"
Zooks: hahahahahhahahah
Zooks: dude
Zooks: I'm telling her that

Mac: yeah, I got butt loads of appeal
Zooks: butt loads would be the appropriate term
Mac: did you end up playing the freeroll yesterday?
Mac: didn't see a post on it so I assumed you didnt
Zooks: I did and was horrible got knocked out early
Zooks: went to bed
Mac: what time did it start?
Mac: thought it was another early one
Zooks: it was
Zooks: that's why I sucked
Zooks: came home from bowling just in time to play
Zooks: and I was running on like 4 hours of sleep or less
Mac: shit, where is that violin I keep around for such occassions?
Zooks: hahahahah, ass


No, not jewelry.



Last night.

From Host

We've got at least a half inch of ice covering everything this morning.  And I mean everything.  The kids' school was cancelled.  Of course they were up at 6am checking to see if it was cancelled - even the one I usually have to drag out of bed.  They immediately got on the computers to play MapleStory.  Sigh.

The forecast is not giving me that warm fuzzy feeling.  I guess we better start salting the sidewalks and driveway or we may never get rid of this ice.

From ScreenshotA

Bowling Right

(Note: We are 2 blocks away from the beach.)

Customer: “Your lanes are crooked.”

Me: “Sir, I assure you they are not crooked; we have lane inspectors that come in every 8 weeks and check for that kind of thing.”

Customer: “No! MY LANE IS CROOKED! Every time I bowl, the ball goes to the right!”

Me: *glancing at the clock* “Well, you know, it’s about 1:30. The tide is coming in.”

Customer: “That has an effect on it?”

Me: “Oh yeah, I mean, we’re only a few blocks from the beach…”

Customer: “Huh… well, I guess I’ll try to bowl more towards the left, then…”

He should have told him to hold his beer in the other hand, ldo.

Stolen From (The Customer) Is Not Always Right.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Read all about it!

It's riveting. Would I lie to you?

Ok, how about: I might mention your name? Maybe. You have to click to find out, don't you?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Hello Gadzooks64,

Thank you for your email.

The email you received when qualifying for Tournament # 170000000 ('Blogger Championship - Final') is an automated one. There is no benefit in qualifying multiple times, and you are unable to save this ticket for a future event or transfer this ticket to a friend.

In a normal satellite or real money satellite the seat can be used for future events or transferred to a friend, but as this is a freeroll designed to give everyone a multiple amount of chances, even if you qualify for 'Blogger Championship - Final' several times it will not be of any value.

Thank you for your email and participation, and we wish you the best of luck for the 'Blogger Championship - Final' tournament.


PokerStars Support Team

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Entertaining offers:

Dear gadzooks64,

You finished the tournament in 42nd place.

This qualifies you for a seat in Tournament #170000000.
As you are already registered in this tournament, you can either use your extra seat for a future event,
or transfer it to another player of your choice.
Please contact for assistance in your choice.

Thank you for participating.

I had decided to play as many of these as I could to lockout seats from other players.  I had not considered that they would allow me to transfer a seat or use it for another event.  I sent an email requesting what other events my ticket is good for - who knows I may just keep it for myself. 

Sunday, December 14, 2008


Just a litte nippy here. 

Nothing to get alarmed about. 

Just you normal, everyday FREEZING OF YOUR ASS OFF!

What was I thinking when I agreed to move to the Midwest? 


I must have been brain damaged.

From ScreenshotA

Which City?

American Cities That Best Fit You:

75% Austin

70% Denver

70% Honolulu

65% Portland

60% Atlanta

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Oh Tanenbaum

I love my tree.

No, really.  I do.

I saw this tree two years ago at Sam's Club - as if I shop anywhere else - and had to take it home!


All those lights.  I was dazzled.  It twinkles from white to colored and back ever so slowly.  It induces a zenlike state which I desperately needed this time of year.

I feel the same way about my impact sprinklers in the summer time.  The rest of the year I make do with alkeeehawl.  Just sayin.

Friday, December 12, 2008


To my nearly departed son...

I just wanted to let you know how much I love it when you crawl into bed with me in the morning and start mewling about how you don't feel good.

I love it when you refuse to take your medication every day.

I love it when you lie to me about brushing your teeth.

I love it when you sit at the kitchen counter refusing my gentle suggestions to get your butt in gear before time runs out and then turn into a whirling ball of fury because you only have nanoseconds left to get your shoes on, teeth brushed and book bag together before the bus arrives.

If I could hate you more I would.

Now, go back and read that again replacing Love with Hate and Hate with Love.

For now, my son, you will remain only nearly departed. For now...

Rest in Peace

Image by Cool Text: Logo and Button Generator - Create Your Own

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Random rambling poker post

Click here for in depth drivel.

Really, only tired rambling.  Nothing special.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Blog Maintenance

Dr. Chako reminded me today that I've been meaning to update my sidebar links for some time now.  I have all these blogs I read and enjoy on a regular basis yet most haven't found their way to my links.

I put very little effort into pimping out the places I read on a regular basis.  The poker blogging community is loaded with good people and I'm not doing my part.  So, I updated my link list but I'm sure there's more work to be done.  I haven't even gone through my reader list yet so I know I've left somebody out. 

Please don't be offended if you don't see your link.  I'm just one lazy mofo but I hope to have it updated soon.

If you don't see your blog there AND you never post - well, give it up.  I cleaned out the "deadwood" in favor of blogs that still have a pulse.

Graph Jam

I absolutely love this place. 

Every now and then they have one that is so spot on. 

Check this out and then add it to your reader!

song chart memes
more music charts

Saturday, December 06, 2008


All you engineers out there whip out your programmable HP calculators. 

I have a quiz for you.

TOH sent me this email the other day with the following problem:


A backhoe weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowboy trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas.

The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, re-enforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half

(Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by the driver...)

Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above.

Yes, you can neglect friction.


I couldn't solve it either......but who cares;

The pictures are great!

The driver was on his cell phone.................. 
Every now and then TOH sends me something very entertaining.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Thursday, December 04, 2008

What Kind of Car?

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all.  Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental.  Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


Online PokerI have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!
The WBCOOP is an online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers.
Registration code: 059701


Decisions, decisions...

These classics are brought to you by ThinkGeek.  Got check it out!
Hmmm... maybe I should just get them all?

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Smart Phone


I've spent the better part of the last couple of hours  looking for new and improved home screens for my Panger Phone.  I love this phone. 

I'm a tweaker.  Be it my computer or my phone I'm always looking for those kewl little addons or features that will improve my productivity.  By productivity I mean goofing off time. 

One of my favorite places for phone tweaks is EverythingQ.  The have a whole forum dedicated to custom home screens.  I've wasted hours in that forum.  Most of the home screens are worthless to me: sports, cars, bimbos, etc.  Some are so hard to read as to be useless to me.  Every now and then I come across some gems.  Today I found several that I really liked but of course there were small things I needed to, well, um, tweak. 

Right now I'm desperately trying to modify the Most Recent Used programs list to link to the applications I actually use.  Not a trivial task trying to figure out what those links should actually be since I can't quite figure out what Windows Mobile calls them.  You gotta admit, that's one nifty home screen.

If I don't figure this out pretty soon I'm going to have to admit that this silly phone is smarter than me.  Yeah, not gonna happen.

Saturday, November 29, 2008


How bad is it that we are noshing on pizza just 24 hours after stuffing ourselves with turkey, stuffing, summer squash casserole, candied sweet potatoes, green been casserole, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry jelly, cinnamon rolls, pumpkin pie, apple pie, and/or cherry pie?

I think I'll get over it.  Soon.  I had cherry pie for breakfast, and rice with leftover turkey for lunch.  I can only handle so much turkey in any 24 hour period.   I'm due for some normal junk food, tyvm.

I'll blame it on the kids mostly.  It was their idea.  I made them hit TOH up with it and, shockingly, he agreed to pick it up for us.  Hmmm... suddenly a piece of pie sounds appealing.  I'm doing my part to dispose of the leftovers.  I promise. 

Friday, November 28, 2008

Crazy Day

It's going to be one long and crazy day today.  I figured I better post now or I may not get around to it.   I have less than 3 hours to finish cleaning the house, set the table and hit the shower.  Wish me luck.

After the family leaves at 5pm we have to clean up and get set up for wild n wacky poker night for Eric and Ellen.  Poker just hasn't been the same since they moved away.  

I just hope I don't end up like this before the day is over:

Thursday, November 27, 2008


I'm thankful that we aren't having the big dinner today.  Nope, we are doing it tomorrow.  That leaves me all day today to clean house, do laundry, prepare my side dishes, make toffee, blog, surf... oh wait, scratch those last two.  What, I am blogging aren't I?  Damnit.

As you can tell, I'm a master of organization and I never procrastinate.  By never I mean always.  I'm a wait until the next to last moment to get things done kind of person.  I like to think I work best under pressure when, in fact, I'm just epically lazy.

As some of you might already know, I'm pursuing an epic - for my children, anyway - Xmas gift this year.  I intended to be up at some ludicrously early hour tomorrow to snag this gift.  Did I mention that we are doing Turkey Day at my house tomorrow?  What about the wild n crazy poker night we're having for some out of town friends tomorrow night?  Can you sense that I an NOT EAGER to get up at 4am to go shopping?  I am so transparent.

I've been watching online for all the leaked Black Friday ads and items.  That's how I came across the deal I intended to score.  A little more research indicated that a lot of those deals would go live online TODAY!  Yes, TODAY!  So, if you are after some electronic or computer deals from one of the major retailers it might be worth your while to take a few minutes to hit up their website and see if you can order it now!  NOW, BABY!  I don't know about you but a few dollars spent on shipping is more than worthwhile if it means my lazy arse can sleep in tomorrow morning.

I woke up, unexplainedly, at 4am this morning.  I shuffled downstairs to check my Google Reader for any deals that were already released.  I didn't see my deal so I shuffled back to bed being not conscious enough to realize that I never actually went to the store's website.  D'oh.

I leisurely strolled downstairs at 8am this morning and fired up the laptop.  After some cursory surfing it came to me that I should check on the website.  OMGWTF!?!?!?  My Deal!  It was there!  Woooooot!  Show tunes were going off in my head!  You heard me.  My fingers shook as I added the item to my cart.  I had to add my in-law's address for shipping as I didn't want the box showing up on my doorstep for nosy little boys to find.  A few more clicks at I was DONE WITH MY XMAS SHOPPING!

The $13.50 I paid for shipping: worth every penny.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


I blame Clark.  Cause, well, I have no better excuse.

I got his tweet as I got home from lunch with family. 

clarkbrooks I need a nap. Yes, in fact, I am 87 years old. Why do you ask?

Me, too, Clark.  Me, too.

BBL.  Yawn.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

South Park Character

I know it was all the rage ages ago but you need to check the site out again. 

They've added more goodies.

Behold Santa Zooks!

Go to South Park Studio to create your own!

Monday, November 24, 2008


I'm a huge wallpaper junkie.  No, not for my house (uh, ewwwww), for my computer desktop.  Ages ago, man, has it been 2 years already?  Heck it may even be 3 years ago, I found this really kewl site that had these computer generated designs -  many based on fractals - that were so awesome.  The owner of the site would put up a new set every month or so.  Then one day the site wouldn't come up.

I'd go back every now and then to see if it was working but nothing.  Eventually I deleted the sidebar link but I never really forgot about the site.  I Googled it again recently and found that I wasn't the only person that missed that place.  It's back up again but only to give links to torrent downloads.  I downloaded the full set immediately.  Check them out in the screenshow below.  I'm only hosting a small version.  If you want to get any other size you can find the download links here.

Another one of my favorite wallpaper sites it Interfacelift.  I'm subscribed to their feed so I get any new submissions in my reader.

For those of you that play poker on Full Tilt and Poker Stars, these make awesome table backgrounds.  The 800x600 size is perfect. If that's not available just shrink down the 1600x1200.  All you have to do is replace the Table.jpg file under Program Files/Full Tilt Poker/Graphics/Theme Name or Racetrack/Theme Name.  My current favorite is from Interfacelift.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


I saw this and couldn't believe somebody would make such an awesome shirt JUST FOR ME!!!  Ok, it's not just for me.  Go to ShirtRoad to see what they offer!


This will be perfect for Vegas.  Did I mention that I'm going to Vegas 1/1-1/4?  How could I possible neglect to mention that?  Wooooooooot!  I'm going to Vegas!  TOH and I are going with some of the rowdiest neighbors we have.  This is going to be friggin awesome!

Saturday, November 22, 2008


I bought the industrial size package of bacon at Sam's Club last week.  The half I cooked disappeared in no time at all.

Just moments ago I was instructed to go see what is on the counter:

I guess I know what we're having for dinner tonight.  Nom nom nom.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Netbooks are Teh Ghey

According to my buddy Macanthony netbooks are teh ghey.  I've been helping him find a laptop deal.  He's all about the Linux so I sent him a link to a small, cheap, Linux based netbook.  And this is the thanks I get:

Mac: no netbooks
Mac: netbooks are teh ghey
Zooks: lol
Zooks: but they are so cute n small n cheap
Mac: they are like half the size, but they aren't half the cost
Zooks: valid complaint but in many case half the size costs twice as much
Mac: and disk space is like 1/10th the size
Zooks: yeah that's the sucky part
Zooks: but in this case isn't it solid state?
Zooks: so uber fast
Mac: and I don't think I could watch porn on an 8" screen
Mac: solid state disks are less reliable
Zooks: hahahaha
Zooks: pron on 8" screen
Zooks: hahahahahaah
Zooks: why is that so damn funny?

He never fails to make me laugh.


Yep, that's why I hate doing it.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

New Chair

I have horrible posture. 

My office chair isn't helping that at all.

I remember seeing these funky looking chairs that were supposed to be much better for your back and posture.  After a little Google action I was able to locate what I was looking for.  I typed in a few numbers and letters and, Viola!, a box was soon waiting for me at my local store.

After mulling over the directions - some of the worst wordless instructions I've ever seen - I somehow managed to put this thing together (anyone remember One Girl One Box?) 

So, here I "sit". 

I kinda like it. 

I need to practice my mount and dismount but I think it'll become old hat very soon (he he he, I said mount).  Hmmm, should I get some spurs?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Burn it to the Ground

Wooooooooooooooot!  No, not Woot-Off just Woooooooooooot!  Although, I've been watching the Woot-Off today and as of right now I'm in for 2 Woots. 

This Woooooooooooooot! is for the new Nickelback album.  Don't be a hater.  Srsly.  If you don't like Nickelback then just click on to the next blog.  No need to leave snarky comments n such. 

I listened to the new album and the first song that struck a chord with me was this one:

Who doesn't like a knock down, drag out, balls to the wall party song?

Nickelback never fails to deliver as far as I'm concerned.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

WSOP Main Event

And the big winner is....

Not who you'd think.

Snuffy linked me to this article about the tax burdens for the final table players.

Of the $32,731,625 final table prize pool as much as $14,793,416 could be paid in taxes to various governments.  How ridiculous is that?

Ironically, the Russian may pay the least amount of taxes! 

Be sure to check out this article for all the details.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Black Friday

I'm a shopper.

Yeah, I know.  Go ahead and laugh.  Get it out of your system.  Har har har.  Zooks is a shopper.  Who knew?

Ok, it's time for me to qualify that statement.  I'm a lazy shopper.  I do a vast majority of my shopping online.  Some things I have to see up close and in person before I buy but most I don't.

Black Friday is my nemisis.  That elusive "fabulous deal" that can't be had online.  Granted there is Internet Monday but these aren't the same deals that I pour over in my newspaper on Thanksgiving day.

I'm not much of a morning person.  There I said it.  I despise, absolutely abhor, the idea of getting up in the middle of the night to go stand in line with all those other desperate shoppers trying to score that fantastic deal.  Yet, that's the plan. 

I'm committed to hitting up one of my favorites stores at some ridiculously early hour.  All this to score that one elusive gift.  Did I mention I have to be there at an hour I haven't seen since my hard core partying days?  Or the cold?  Did I mention the frigid cold?

So, anybody want to meet me for breakfast next Friday?  I'll buy... if you stand in line with me.  There's no such thing as a free breakfast in Zooks' world.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Poker After Dark Followup

We started a little later than expected with the 5 players that had arrived know that the 6th was on the way.  Lucky for him he drew the button; by the time he arrived he was the big blind so he didn't really miss much.

Even though we were pretty deep stacked (100bb) it played more like a regular tournament.  I think I'd have to double the stacks again to get a true deep stack feel.  There were the usual bad beats, horrible river cards, etc.  I won't go into too many hands because, quite frankly, I probably don't remember them all that well.

I did flop a couple of sets - once a boat.  I didn't get paid off on the flopped boat but I did get a nice payoff on a rivered boat.  I also ran Ax soooooted into a flopped set; JJ into AA; and my final hand - 22 into AA with an AK along for the ride (flop was AKx and send two of us to the rail).  I did manage to steal a pot from Fike with 2nd pair on a 4 club board when I reached for chips after he checked the river to me and he insta-folded before I could get my chips into the pot.  On another hand my AKc was good unimproved against Fike's AJ.

In addition to the usual suckout excitement that every tournament has we had an issue come up on one key hand.  I'm still not sure I made the right decision here.  I was the BB.  UTG raised it up.  Fike shoved.  I look down at KK.  I shove.  UTG hems and haws and folds.  Fike shows ATs and I show my KK.  UTG says he folded AQ.  The board runs out with an A and Fike wins.  THEN I noticed that the SB had dealt the board.  I asked him why he dealt that hand when he was the SB.  The guy that was supposed to deal wasn't sure what happened.  Fike and I pipe in that we think the Dealer dealt the hole cards but that the SB dealt the board from the deck he was supposed to be making for the next deal. 

Uh WTF happened here???  Everybody's looking at me for a decision.  I said either A) Dealer dealt hole cards and SB dealt board from the wrong deck or B) SB dealt whole hand.  Either way the hand was totally effed up.  In my infinite stupidity wisdom I decided to restore all the chips to their original positions prior to the hand, keep the button where it was and re-deal that hand.  Granted it may have been a horrible decision since the hand played out to the end but it just seemed the most fair thing to do at the time. 

I did a cursory look at Robert's Rules of Poker during the play but didn't really have the time to determine what should have been done.  I can't believe that's an issue that comes up very often.  Then again, as often as drinking is involved with poker - as was the case last night - shit like this probably happens more often than people want to admit.

When it got down to 3 handed, Fike and Jason were pretty deep with Scoot playing the short stack expertly.  One bad hand and Fike ended up short.  Fike shipped it with 9Td and Scoot and Jason both call.  The flop comes out all diamonds.  Fike is amazingly quiet during all of this.  Jason actually bets into the dry sidepot and gets called by Scoot.  Another bet on the turn.  The river brings the Ad.  Jason bets again and Scoot declares, "I'm going to believe you just hit your flush and I'm going to fold."  Sure enough Jason shows the KdQ for a four flush while Fike is doing his best to not fly over the table and wrap Jason balls around his neck.  That's right, Fike flopped a flush only to get four flushed by Jason's TP2ndK.  Fike wasn't having a very good night.

Scoot ended up taking 2nd fiddle to Jason aka "Luckbox Maximus" when Scoot's Ax wasn't good enough vs. Jason's KJ AIPF - the board came KJx.  Jason was doing stuff like playing KT v AK and hitting two pair or trip Ts, etc., all night long.  Heater doesn't even come close to describing it.

While it was fun and lasted about 4.5 hours, I'm not sure I would do it again.  I might consider it with even deeper stacks.  Six handed play is volatile enough even double-stacked.  I'm starting to think that I might prefer cash games because they are more fun and less stressful than tournaments.  

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Poker After Dark Home Game

I finally roped 5 other people into playing a Poker After Dark style home tournament with me!  Who knew it would be so difficult to get 5 other people to agree on a day and time to play poker?  Srsly.

The table has been felted.

I set up my Tournament Director.

The chips have been counted.

All I have to do is wait for the fish, er, players.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Jake and Amir

The response to Jake and Amir was so overwhelming that I decided to post another one.   Yes, I am only lazy blogger.  This NaBloPoMo is killing me so I'm resorting to another Jake and Amir video. This time I will include their url,, so, you know, you can actually find MORE of their stuff.

I.M's from Amir on Vimeo.


Today had potential.

I could bowl well.  I didn't.

I could have lunch with a friend.  I didn't.

I could have gone shopping.  I can't.

About half way through the last game of bowling I get a call from the school.  My oldest is not feeling well.  I promise to pick him up soon.

No lunch.  No shopping.  Sigh.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Google Reader Feeds

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know what you're thinking: "Get off the damn Google Reader shit already!"

Bite me.

This is NOT about Google Reader per se.

("per se" is French for f*ck you you f*cking retard.  No really.  Go look it up.  I'll wait.)

Anywho... I subscribe to the Official Google Reader Blog.  Yes, there really is such a thing.  They post just about never but it's still worthwhile when they do.  Not too long ago they posted their top 10 favorite feeds. 

This little gem was one of those.  Now, I'll admit, it's not for everyone.  So if it offends you so much the better!

Files from Amir on Vimeo.

The Big Picture was another one of the top 10 that I really liked.  Go check it out but be prepared to have to view it in full screen mode.  The really mean it when they say BIG PICTURE.  Oh, be sure to check out the Sun pictures.  Truly amazing.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veteran's Day

I recently got an email from my dad that included a scan of some pictures his brother had found. The pictures were of my dad when he was stationed in Germany circa 1961-62.

My dad joined the Army right out of high school so he was only 19 or 20 years old when this picture was taken. It's much easier to see how young he is in this picture of him partying like it's 1962! What? You thought that only the Mad Men did this?

He's the geeky one in the glasses on the left.

My dad went on to spend 20 years of his life in the Army. To say that this 20 years shaped his entire life would be an understatement.

He met, knocked up and married my mother in Germany. After a tour in Korea and another in Viet Nam (maybe two) my parents divorced. I spent the next 10 years being shipped back and forth between the two.

While stationed at Ft. Bliss (El Paso, TX), my dad, a Chief Warrant Officer, met his next wife who was married to a Lt. Colonel at the time. This didn't go over well with the Army establishment who issued him a dis-honorable discharge. He immediately re-enlisted as a Sergeant to preserve his retirement. He spent the rest of his 20 year career as an Army recruiter.

At the ripe old age of 38, with 20 years of service, my father retired from the military. He worked on and off at various jobs since then. For the last 20 years or so he's been living in the wilds of Washington and Oregon working as a ranch hand and guiding outdoorsmen. He loves to hunt and fish so this has suited him well.

I don't think my dad has ever expressed any regret for joining the Army and putting in his 20 years of service. It hasn't all been good; Viet Nam left him with issues - drug usage is a main one. Who knows what his life would have been like had he never joined the Army - I know I wouldn't be here. I do know that he's enjoyed the freedom that retiring at 38 with a pension can bring.

The men and women serving in our armed forces work hard and risk their lives to protect us and others around the world. Today we honor their efforts. Try to remember that when you are just goofing around on your day off.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Online vs. Live Poker

Since I don't play much live poker and even less live casino poker I am not qualified to make any comparisons of Online versus Live Poker.

However, I have found the guy who is supremely qualified:

6. The chicks:
a. Online poker: Has the girls of the internet. More porn than you can shake a stick at.
b. Live poker: Has real women, who expect to be paid for things.

And if that's not enough to convince you:

8. Top pro:
a. Online poker: Has Patrick Antonius, you know, God.

b. Live poker: Has Barry Greenstein, who come to think of it, has probably bagged more chicks than Antonius. Well played Greenstein.

Think you're ready to read the rest of the story?

Sunday, November 09, 2008

WSOP Final Table

It's tooooooooooooday!  Woooooooooooot!

Unfortunately I'm feeling less than perky this morning as a result of a boisterous Drunken Euchre.  We had a good crowd last night but got started late since one half of a couple decided to go out of town after she wrote Euchre on the wrong date on her calendar.  So, I was stuck calling around the neighborhood trying to line up a replacement.  Luckily one of my neighbors was available on short notice (10 minutes).  But I digress.

I'll be keeping an eye on PokerNews live reporting.  My money is on Demidov.  The guy is a machine and totally not gheigh (yeah, I'm talking to you predator!).  Although, it's hard to argue with Phillips' chip stack.  I have a Board meeting on Tuesday night but you can rest assured that I'll be kicking those lewzors out of my house in record time so I can fire up ESPN.

P.S.  You can listen to streaming live audio coverage via WSOP's website.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Drunken Euchre


My house.

Everybody's invited.

Ok, maybe not everybody. 

Am I the only one that would arrange my hand totally bass ackwards from the way it is in this picture?  Left to right instead of right to left?

Friday, November 07, 2008

"Buy A Card"

Details can be found here.

Don't be a lazy Effer, just click.

Srsly, don't make me come over there and click it for you

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Junk Mail

I caught myself complaining to my friends recently about the email I get.  The junk email.  You know that stuff that well-meaning family and friends forward to you because you are clearly a misguided idiot that needs to be informed.

In this case, I'm referring to my father.

He knows that I have been a registered Democrat since I turned 18.  He and my grandmother are devout Republicans.  My grandmother was very active in the Republican Party in her younger days. 

I have been receiving a non-stop barrage of crap email from my father since this election began.  Everything horrible, nasty, and sometimes downright wrong about Obama and his campaign has filled my inbox.  I have never once replied.  Never.  I just hit the delete button and went on my merry way.

Today: sweet, sweet silence. 

I like to think that, like Obama, I took the high road.  The view is nice from here.


I'm so proud of us. 


I think we, as a nation, finally did the right thing.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008



Just dooooooooooo it!

You really, really, REALLY don't want me to have the ammunition to deride your ass for the next four, long years do ya?