Sunday, March 29, 2009

Horseshoe Casino

Day two of Roccopalooza II started out with cash games at the hotel but the plan was to go to the new Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, IN.  I had heard a lot about it and was very excited to play there.

They have two PokerTek tables; unfortunately, they fall under the command of the table games and not the poker room even though they are mere steps outside of the poker room.  Alas, Indiana still allows smoking in the general casino area but not in the poker room.  I can't stand cigarette smoking and those two tables were loaded with smokers.

The 'Shoe allows you to call an hour ahead to get on the waitlist for any games you want to play.  This didn't help us much as we were still on the lists - some of which moved at a glacial pace. 

They were running a 2/5 PLO table and had an interest list for 1/2 PLO.  Several of us jumped on that list in the hope that the table would open soon.  Sure enough it did.  We started playing 5 handed with three of us effers and two unknowns.

I will remind you that we all firmly believe that predator has at least one golden horseshoe up his butt.  True story.  I tend to believe that he's added a diamond encrusted platinum version to join the gold one - just in case.

The very first hand at the table we see a three way all in: DTM ($200), predator ($300) and an unknown ($200).  The flop was KT8.  What did these people have you might ask yourself?  I know I was thinking just that as the hand played out.  It all got in on the flop with DTM having a set of 8s, unkown had a set of Ks, and predator had a wrap on the straight.  The straight came in on the river.  Just what we needed: predator at the table with everybody else covered, oh my. 

Predator wasn't making many friends at the table.  In one hand he read the other guy for AA on an AKx flop and he told him outright that he was going to run down his aces.  Predator proceeded to runner runner the guy for a rivered straight - and, yes, the guy had AA.  LMFAO.  Predator also had KK for second set so I guess he figured he had one out and that was enough to try to outdraw the AA :rollseyes:.

I played a few hands but not many.  A couple of times I flopped the nut straight but with no redraw to speak of so I was forced to play it fast.  I was getting a lot of respect since I wasn't playing a lot of hands.  I was glad that I didn't get played back at when my hands were vulnerable.

Late in the session I got to see the flop for free from the BB.  I had 8d6c3c4d on a flop of 9d7c5c for the flopped nut straight and a straight flush redraw.  There were only 2 other players in the hand and one was the effer in the small blind.  I had already decided to pot it when it got to me.  Little did I know the effer (Sly) had the same plan.  The unkown was short stacked and bet pot on the flop, Sly raised pot.  When I said "Pot" Sly looked at me with the deer in the headlight look.  The unknown shipped his few remaining chips in and Sly called all in as well.  Predator asked if I had a redraw.  Yes, but it's a shitty one;  I do have a straight flush redraw, too.  Turns out Sly had the nut flush draw.  I faded a club on the turn but the first thing I noticed was the river was a club.  THEN I noticed, "Hey, that MY club!"  Sure enough it was the 4c filling my gutshot straight flush draw and earning me an extra $100 prize!  Woooooooooot!  I guess predator must have snuck (sneaked?) me one of his horseshoes when I wasn't looking.  Poor Sly.  It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

At a 1/2 NLHE table predator's friend, dubbed RoadHead by the effers, was cleaning up.  We had all cashed out and were waiting on him when we realized he'd just won an AA v KK battle for stacks!  He had a great session and cashed out for about $800!

The effers managed to walk out of there about $2200 ahead.  We headed to Famous Dave's for dinner and drinks (first round on RoadHead!) then back to the hotel for more cash games.

PokerSlut Tour XIII LHE

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Friday, March 27, 2009


If you recall Roccopalooza I, you might remember how pissy I was about getting left behind when everybody else went to Scores - the strip club.

This time I wasn't going to miss going to the strip club.  I've only been to one other sleezy, postage stamp sized club in New Orleans a brazillian years ago.  Scores was a Cadillac vs. Yugo in comparison.

It didn't take long to figure out that these girls were definitely not working their was through law school, business school or even beauty school.  The girls were decidedly slow on the uptake.  They even moved in slow motion.

Every shot of a strip club on TV shows or music videos show the girls working it hard.  The music is upbeat and hips are griding everywhere you look.  Not at Scores.  These girls must have been "medicated".  Pretty to look at (well, except for the one that looked like a transvestite with a couple of watermelons drooping from her chest) but they tried to slink around at glacial speeds.

I followed a guy back to watch his lap dance.  Not sure why but it turned into MY lap dance.  She pretty much ignored him and concentrated on me.  I really wanted to watch him get a lap dance so I would know how it was done but, alas, I'm still as ignorant as ever.  Afterwards I was told that she was terrible.  Sigh.  He ended up getting another lapdance with his first choice - a beautiful brunette - and came back with eyes glazed over.  I'm assuming she was much more skilled.

There was a special running during the first palooza at Scores: free sweatshirt with a lapdance.  This time, no free sweatshirts. Once again, I was screwed.  Figuratively only, of course.  At least I didn't have to pay to get in. 

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Roccopalooza II - The Hammer

We started up the cash games five handed.  Of course we play the Hammer Rule: anyone who shows down 72 as the winning hand gets a $1 bonus from each player at the table. 

We hadn't been playing too long when I raise it up UTG with AQo.  FavoriteCharity (redubbed RoadHead for Roccopalooza, a palooza rookie) didn't take much time at all shipping all of his chips in the middle.  Uh, WTF!?!?!?  Now, I hadn't seen him doing anything really stupid so far but past performance is not guarantee of future behavior... blah, blah, blah. 

I hemmed and hawed before deciding there was no way I could fold this hand 5 handed 'cause that's how big a donk I am.  I wish I had had the presence of mind to say something like, "I didn't come here to fold" but alas all I could muster was a bland, "I call."

Imagine my delight when RoadHead flipped over:

An ace on the flop pretty much sealed his fate and, after all five cards were out, it was official:  I doubled up. 

The tone was set.  This is Roccopalooza and we were going to GAMBOL!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Roccopalooza II Day 1

First a little back story.

Huck and I had a wager we set last fall.  He was challenged to put on 15lbs while I was going to try to lose 15lbs before the next Palooza - tentatively scheduled for Jan 2009.  Now, considering that Huck is a young man and I'm, well, er, not a young man, this is really a stupid - asininely stupid - bet on my part.  Especially with the holidays approaching.  Regardless, I suffered a major brain fart and agreed.  Even after the Palooza was moved to late March, I had no hope in hell of getting there.

The prize?  Money is irrelevant to us.  Pride, pride is the key here.  If I were to win then Huck was going to have to use the avatar of my choice for one month on the Full Tilt Forum and be my drink bitch for Palooza.  Huck's request was for a Pimp Chalice and a drink bitch.  Yeah, I didn't know what a Pimp Chalice was either.  Thank the gawds for Google.

Did I mention that I had no chance in hell of winning or even breaking even in this bet? 

I was a horrible drink bitch but I did supply a Pimp Chalice that was even beyond Huck's expectation. 
Huck: So, you hooking me up with a pimp chalice?
Zooks: WTF is a pimp chalice?
Poor guy, I was so trying to make him believe I wasn't going to come through on my end of the bargain.  I do think he was pleasantly surprised.

Huck's Ho - Putting the ass in classy

More to come.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Roccopalooza II

This weekend is Roccopalooza II.  With all the drama running around my house lately I could really use a weekend of debauchery to calm my nerves.

You might want to read up on Roccopalooza I for a hint of what this weekend might have in store for me.  I fully intend to make it to the strip club this time around.  I might hurt people if they somehow manage to ditch me again.

Before I get to the weekend though I need to weave my way through more doctor's appointments, shelving installation and other miscellaneous home repairs, bowling and more bowling, an HOA Board Meeting and well as packing all the accountrement de poker that I have to take with me.

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Phone

I heart my phone as much as Dilbert hearts his phone.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Doll House

I have been a fan of Joss Whedon for some time now.  I came late to the Buffyverse - somewhere in the 4th or 5th season I was hooked.  I bought the entire Buffy series on DVD and enjoyed them thoroughly. 

While I wasn't a huge fan of Angel I did finally start to watch the spinoff series when it was 2 or 3 seasons in.  I became addicted to Angel as well and ended up buying that whole series on DVD, too.

I never did watch Firefly.  Well, until recently that is.  I tried once before to get into it but it just didn't happen for me.  I finally muddled through the first few episodes and got hooked on it.  Too bad it died an early death.

When I heard about Doll House I was intrigued along with every other Whedon accolyte.  As I watched the premier episode I knew it would be a little rough.  All first shows are.  I was still intrigued enough to want to watch the next one. 

While the first 3 episodes were entertaining I wasn't sure how well this was going to evolve.  I should not have fretted.  The fourth episode was pure Whedon.  It set the stage for a very complex plot arc to weave through the entire season.  I really do not care for episodic television where there is no overarching theme or conflict.

You can watch the past episodes at Fox on Demand.

If you haven't already, you should really tune in to see Doll House.  It will give you a very enjoyable ride for an hour or so and who couldn't use that?

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Thursday, March 05, 2009


More medical drama.

The orthopedic surgeon's assistant took one look at the x-rays and declared that Zooks97 needed surgery for his broken bones.  Turns out he broken the ends of both arm bones and not the wrist after all.

So when is this surgery going to take place?  Tomorrow morning.  Yep, that fast. 
Looks like I have to reschedule his allergist's appointment that was supposed to happen after school tomorrow. 

This child better start saving for my nursing home. 

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


Drama, I has it.

These past 4 weeks have been brutal.  A few days before my birthday Zooks99 and I came down with some nasty stomach bug that hung on for several days.  A couple weeks later Zooks99 started complaining of a sore throat.  After he popped up with a fever a couple nights later I decided that it was time to take him to the doctor.  No strep throat but a thriving ear infection.  Oh joy.  Then, two days after he started his antibiotics he spiked a 105° fever along with vomiting.

Several days into Zooks99's second bout of stomach bug Zooks97 was scheduled for his colonoscopy and endoscopy procedure.  This is not at all the way this was supposed to work out.  Zooks97 stayed home the day before the procedue while he did the cleanse part of the preparation.  Since I have been through this process myself I was rather surprised at his reaction.  You would have thought that the chain saw massacre villian was slicing off body parts inches at a time.  The boy is a serious Drama Queen!  I was much too frustrated with him to have any sympathy.  About half way through the liquid he's supposed to drink he refused to finish it.  It's definitely a good thing TOH volunteered to take him to the procedure while I stayed home with the still recovering Zooks99.

Turns out Zooks97 has an ulcer.  We've started him on some medication that, with any luck, will improve some of his symptoms.  His follow up appointment is tomorrow and I assume I will get all the dirty details then.

In the mean time, the boys have expressed a desire to have new bedroom furniture.  Two or three years ago we bought them the coolest loft beds.  I would have been thrilled to have something like this when I was a kid.  I think they did enjoy them but lately they've been whining about wanting new beds that they don't have to climb into.

Tell me this doesn't look totally kewl!
They have settled on this:

Well, yeah, you can sleep on it.  The problem is that now they have no storage or desk.  I've designed a shelving system that will give them something of a desk and a place to put all their books, trophies, and miscellaneous crap.  I'm off in a few minutes to purchase all the peices for that as soon as I finish this post.

But, before then, let me fill in on the latest snag in my life.  

I was supposed to go to IKEA to purchase the new beds on Sunday but, due to a slight hangover, I wasn't up to going.  I did find enough energy to take apart their loft beds and promised them I would pick up the new beds on Tuesday.

Monday was Casimir Polanski day in our fair state.  Yeah, I have no clue who that is.  Just another excuse for my kids to take a day off of school.  Zooks97 spent as much of the day as possible annoying the crap outta Zooks99.  Zooks99 has a very high tolerance of Zooks97 most days.  So even I was surprised when he grabbed Zooks99's bowling ball and hurled it at the floor.  Sigh.  After we get home they are running amok upstairs when I hear whining about Zooks97 having locked up Zooks99's webkinz AND he'd managed to collect all of the door keys from their jambs.

Ok, hand over the keys.  He refused.  Sigh.  I hear more running amok upstairs and a loud thud followed by Zooks97 frantically approaching me holding his arm that is bent at an unnatural angle.  He'd fallen off his desk chair (with rollers) while trying to replace the door keys.  Future rocket scientist had just broken his wrist while standing on a rolling chair.

We were out the door within a few minutes on the way to the ER.  I called TOH and informed him that he needed to meet us at the ER before I just end it for Zooks97 right now and we can just plan the funeral.  I spent a couple hours at the ER while they splinted up his broken wrist.  My plans for the IKEA run are now canceled while I have to arrange an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to set the break in a cast which just happens to fall on the same day as the gastroenterologist's appointment.

Yeah, I think you'll agree, the last four weeks have been brutal.  FML.

Sunday, March 01, 2009


Hypocrisy is alive and well right here in the gool ole US of A.

What's On My PC linked to an ABC News article:

Porn in the USA: Conservatives are Biggest Consumers

Shocking!  :rollseyes:

Ok, raise your hand if you didn't know that there's free porn out there on the internet?  Liar.

Here are some excerpts from the ABC article:
Americans may paint themselves in increasingly bright shades of red and blue, but new research finds one thing that varies little across the nation: the liking for online pornography.

A new nationwide study of anonymised credit-card receipts from a major online adult entertainment provider finds little variation in consumption between states.

"When it comes to adult entertainment, it seems people are more the same than different," says Benjamin Edelman at Harvard Business School.

However, there are some trends to be seen in the data. Those states that do consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study finds.

"Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," Edelman says.

The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users; Montana bought the least with 1.92 per 1000. "The differences here are not so stark," Edelman says.

Number 10 on the list was West Virginia at 2.94 subscriptions per 1000, while number 41, Michigan, averaged 2.32.

Eight of the top 10 pornography consuming states gave their electoral votes to John McCain in last year's presidential election – Florida and Hawaii were the exceptions. While six out of the lowest 10 favoured Barack Obama. 
So, all those gawd fearing, gun toting, homo hating, apple pie and Chevrolet conservatives are the ones buying porn.  I guess they haven't yet figured out you can get it for free.

Old-Fashioned Values

Church-goers bought less online porn on Sundays – a 1% increase in a postal code's religious attendance was associated with a 0.1% drop in subscriptions that day. However, expenditures on other days of the week brought them in line with the rest of the country, Edelman finds.

Residents of 27 states that passed laws banning gay marriages boasted 11% more porn subscribers than states that don't explicitly restrict gay marriage.

To get a better handle on other associations between social attitudes and pornography consumption, Edelman melded his data with a previous study on public attitudes toward religion.

States where a majority of residents agreed with the statement "I have old-fashioned values about family and marriage," bought 3.6 more subscriptions per thousand people than states where a majority disagreed. A similar difference emerged for the statement "AIDS might be God's punishment for immoral sexual behaviour."

"One natural hypothesis is something like repression: if you're told you can't have this, then you want it more," Edelman says.
Long live hypocrisy.  Amen.

PokerSlut Tour XIII

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The new season kicks off tonight!