Wednesday, October 31, 2007


This was the view from my front porch this evening while I froze my rump off handing out candy. With any luck it will all be gone before the night is over.

I'm sure my kids will be eating all their candy in no time and I will find empty wrappers lying around for months to come.

P.S. Reece's Peanut Butter cups are the Devil. That is all.

Firefox Extensions

I Stumbled onto this really neat Firefox add-on called Mouse Gestures.

I'm all about short cuts and this is really handy. It has standard moves built into it and lets you program custom moves as well.

I programed my Logitech mouse with the tilt scroll for forward and back page loading ages ago. BTW, Logitech makes the best mice and keyboards around.

Not long after I bought my first, screaming new, dazzling, bestest ever Logitech wireless keyboard and mouse I settled in for an evening of poker with my tankard of hot tea.

I was playing two tournaments when I clumsily dumped the entire contents on the keyboard.


Oddly enough everything seemed to work fine.... for a while.

It seems that the thoughtful engineers over at Logitech designed holes in the bottom of the chassis just in case some idiot decided to dump a tankard of hot tea through their keyboard.

I mopped up and things were fine until..... the W key stopped working. I had to type vv (ergo vv/e) for w and that was ok until the screen started flashing like crazy. That's when my keyboard went all exorcist on me.

I scrambled to find the old plug in keyboard (also Logitech) and get it working - the mouse still worked just fine.

The next morning I called my home owner's insurance company since I had computer coverage. They suggested I call Logitech first but if all else failed they would replace it for me.

I was honest with the nice lady at Logitech and told her it was all my fault, that I spilled a lot of hot tea on it. She put me on hold; when she came back she said that it was under warranty and they would send me a new set - an upgraded one no less!

I <3 Logitech.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I drag myself out of bed at 8:30am only find DTM is running amok with my oldest. I quickly put them to work helping me clean up. In no time at all my house is back in order and I'm frying up bacon.

I get the details of the night from DTM: he hasn't been to bed; Zooks97 came down at 5:00am to mess with him; Billy and Asian are crashed; Khanwoman is passed out, etc.

I share some coffee with KhanMom (what a nice lady) and make some waffles for the rest of my family as they slowly drag themselves downstairs. DTM took over the stove to make scrambled eggs that turned out quiet well! And I thought he only knew how to cook frozen pizzas and ramen noodles.

Khanwoman finally makes an appearance looking every bit like she didn't go to bed until 5:00am. She grabs some coffee and breakfast. We formulate a plan for her to take the boys back to Bloomington. Let's just say it's a good thing Asian can fit into those size 0 girls stretch jeans.

I'm sure he was oblivious though - probably slept the whole way.

After wishing everybody a safe trip home I crashed for a couple hours until the RTR Freeroll, but that'll be another post.

Thanks everybody for coming to the home game! Better luck next time, bwaahahahahahah!

Monday, October 29, 2007


I stumbled off to bed at about 12:30 am.

I woke up at 5:30 am not at all delighted with the prospect of spending the next 7 hours at a swim meet. I packed all the necessities and then some while I was trying to figure out how to convince The Other Half (TOH) to left me take a shower and meet them there. I was much easier than I thought it would be - he conceded almost immediately while mumbling something about poor planning on my part (I really need to fire my social secretary). I was able to crawl back into bed for about 30 minutes, shower, and head over to pool.

The kids did very well for their first meet. I have videos but I will spare you this time!

On the way home I pick up about 15 pounds of pizzas to be cooked for dinner and Home Game.

Khanwoman and I put the grommets on my new felt and get it on the table; stack the chips for the tournament and for the pre-game cash game; generally get the house ready for the onslaught.

Soon it's time to head out to pick up DTM, Asian and Billy Vanilli. Who would think that 3 boys would take so damn long to come out of their dorm room? Luckily we were early and got to wait EVEN LONGER THAN WE WOULD HAVE HAD WE BEEN ON TIME! Sigh.

We get back and start cooking pizzas and playing cash game. Billy struggled while the rest of us just hoped to be in a hand with him when he spewed. After some rebuying DTM managed to get all of his chips in bad to Billy's bottom set but then sucked out a better set on the river.

And, yet another fugly hand.

Khan found herself in a tough hand. It didn't help that someone looked at Billy's hand then talked about it. I told her to go with her gut. She called the all-in flop bet.

Fugly turn and beautiful river.

Oh, I almost forgot! The vicious rumors WERE TRUE! My friend (not Zerb) did indeed make the trip for the Home Game!

Friend (not Zerb) & Khan during the after tourney cash game.
They are not buzzed. Not at all. Srsly.

I announced last hand for the cash game; it was time to start the tournament. Everybody started to limp into the pot and I was the BB. It got to me and I looked down at KK. I'm SO NOT TAKING THIS FLOP 6 WAYS. So I raise it up and they all start whining about last hand, blah, blah, blah. DTM decides to play with me. Flop x x T. DTM announces all in before I can do anything and I say I call. He shows a T with a crappy kicker. He's got me covered but that made the difference between a losing cash session and a winning one for me. Woooooot!


I set up my tournament with a one time only rebuy before then end of the 4th period (20 min levels). It was the last hand of the rebuy period and I decided to push in the dark as I wanted to either double up my modest stack (2kish of 3K starting stack) or rebuy. I ended up getting it all in with 72sooooooooted (D'oh!) v A4o. I outran him and doubled up. (First luckbox take down of the night).

Considering that we had 15 runners, we had a surprisingly low number of rebuys: 4.

KhanMom played a nice hand early on. She flopped a set of Kings and hit quads on the turn (this board reads right to left) and managed to get paid off nicely.

We get down to the final table and I've chipped up a bit but I'm not a huge stack. I had been raising the last few hands, beating up on Jeff U and DTM who'd been playing really tight (pry just not catching any cards) when I picked up AA on the button. I put in my standard raise and this time DTM called. He pushed on the flop and I insta-called. He hit his flush on turn and I said, "Boat me baby!" just before the 6 came on the river! (Second luckbox take down of the night!)

I pick up 77 and raise it up. Jeff U is behind me and he pushes and I insta-call turning over my 77 and he flips up 44. I'd been raising a lot in position and I'm sure he thought I was just being a bully.

We are down to 4 and ITM.

Now I have a really big stack. Wooooooooot! Which I proceed to donk off to each of the 3 other players left: I doubled Asian up, donked off some chips to KhanMom (who played very well!) and doubled up Paul. Sigh. Some big stack. Luckily, not much damaged was inflicted as they were all pretty short.

I was SB to Asian's BB. I complete with 56sooooooooted and he just checked his Ax. Flop comes 223 and all I'm thinking is, "I have a gutshot, baby!" Check, Check. Turn a 4! Suhwheat I just hit it. Check, Check. River another 4. Well crap. Asian bets into me and I just call hoping he doesn't have a 2 or 4. He announces, "Split pot if you have an A." I show my 56 and take it down with my straight. Woooooooot. (Third luckbox catch of the night AND I'm not done!)

KhanMom raises and gets called by Paul. Flop Kx6. Bet and call. Turn is a 7. KhanMom pushes and Paul goes into the tank. He inadvertently lets me see his cards: 67o. I can't help but think to myself WTF ARE YOU WAITING FOR CALL ALREADY! He hemmed and hawed and finally called. KhanMom turns over 33 and Paul takes her out with his two pair.

Khanwoman and Paul

Paul just completes the SB to my BB, I have 24d. Flop comes all small cards and gives me a gutshot to the 5. Paul announces all in and I call saying, "All I have is a gutshot." Paul turns over the TT he limped in with. Turn is a beautiful, suhwheat, bone-crushing .... 5. Yep, I took Paul out with a gutshot. I are lucktarded. Of course, serves him right for not raising his TT. (Last lucktard pot of the night, just in case you were counting.)

Asian and I are HU and agree to just chop for 1st and 2nd. I'm sure he'd have given me a run for my money though. He's got some skills. He'd bluffed me out of several pots in the pre-game cash game so he got enough of my money already!

It was already very late when we finished the tournament so we decided to play some cash instead of another tournament. This is new for my home game and a couple of the regular players decided to stay and play with us effers while the rest called it a night.

Drinking and gamboling commenced.

Hahahahahhah! I love the hat!


(not Zerb)

Billy (ATM) Vanilli

DTM, Khan and Asian are all gansta!

I last until about 2:30. (not Zerb) heads out and I head to bed leaving Gary (my neighbor), DTM, Billy, Asian and Khan. I land in bed and notice that it's mighty loud downstairs but I pass out anyway. About 4:00 am TOH gets up and tells those damn degenerates to take it to the basement, LOL.

I have no idea what time Gary left but as soon as he was gone this happened.

Khan brings out the best in people doesn't she?

The kiddy game is in the basement!

Gratuitious Pron.

Asian doing a bankroll check.

Before my kids went to bed I told my oldest that he had my permission to get up real early and go bug DTM. Apparently he took me at my word and set his alarm for 5:00 am. He popped into the basement and made DTM play Monopoly with him!

DTM gets pwned in Monopoly!

To be continued ...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Friday Night

In the interest of making sure I cover the whole story I decided to break this weekend up into 3 segments.

My social planner needs to be fired. "She" managed to schedule the kids swim meet, my home game AND house guests all for the same weekend. "She" really sucks. Friday was all about running errands and getting my house in order so my guests wouldn't be disgusted by our living conditions.

Khanwoman and KhanMom were scheduled to arrived about 8:30-9:00pm. Which means that I was going to be up to all hours of the night goofing off with Khan after she arrived. I didn't get an "I got lost in Indy" text like I expected but I did get an "Indy sucks" text with a picture of snarled traffic which apparently took 1:30 to navigate around. Ewwwwww. She did admit after she got here that she missed her exit and had to back track, D'oh!

Anyhoo, they arrived safe and sound. Within a few short minutes of their arrival we were enjoying some Cranberry and Vodka and playing Facebook Scrabble (I'm currently pwning her ass, fyi.)

We proceeded to get toasted and found some very interesting pages with Stumble.

Taken with Khan's Webcam using Skype!

After I'd built up a hefty buzz, Khanwoman asks, "You want another drink?" while simultaneously pouring me another seriously unnecessary drink.

Moments later this conversation took place:

Khanwoman: You need to send me that link

Zooks: What drink?
Hahahahhahahah! D'oh!

Recall that swim meet that was scheduled for this weekend? Take a wild guess at what time we are supposed to be there? Go ahead, guess.... GUESS, DAMNIT!

6:45 am

Who in their right mind wants 10 and unders to be somewhere at 6:30 in the AeffingM?


Too be continued ...

Home Game Report

Coming soon, I promise.

Can you say three-peat? Just a little hint.

Can you say lucktardus maximus? Just another little hint.

In the mean time, check out these pics and these pics.

Friday, October 26, 2007


Here's an AIM convo I had with Macanthony today.

gadzooks1995: I have short attn span theater issues myself
gadzooks1995: I subscribe to some people that babble on and on and on
gadzooks1995: I don't even bother
MacAnthony30: I only read the short ones during work and then save the longer ones for when I have some time to kill
gadzooks1995: I should pry just unsub from them
gadzooks1995: well most of the time they are just writing about the people they know are reading it
gadzooks1995: BOR-RING
MacAnthony30: I write about WTF I am thinking at the moment
MacAnthony30: I just need to do it a bit more often
MacAnthony30: I was pretty proud of my rakeback one though
gadzooks1995: Yeah, I was about to write a snarky post about counting the items people checkout with at the 20 or less registers
gadzooks1995: went to Walmart last night which I hate to do and someone was at the 20 or less reg with 21, yes, I counted, 21 items
gadzooks1995: wanted to wring her neck
MacAnthony30: it seemed more actual-content-ish than I have been doing lately
gadzooks1995: and her husband's and her adorable twin boys' necks while I was at it
MacAnthony30: when I get in those spots, I go to my happy place AKA, find some hot ho to stare at for ten minutes without looking stalkerish
gadzooks1995: lol
gadzooks1995: hahahahha
gadzooks1995: ok, you know this is going to make a blog post
MacAnthony30: bout time you get some good content on there, and by good I mean me
gadzooks1995: lol
gadzooks1995: wtf is your blog url?
MacAnthony30: sigh
gadzooks1995: I'm too lazy to look it up
gadzooks1995: he he he
gadzooks1995: you want the exposure, you know you do
MacAnthony30: cause it's soooo hard to remember that


Home game is this weekend! Woooooooooot!

Khanwoman is almost on her way to my house! Wooooooooot! I have already warned her that I will LMFAO if she calls to tell me she got lost in Indy. She's 2/2 doing that so far.

In the mean time I have to clean my house, get my kids to their swim meet at the crack of o'darkthirty in the AM, and figure out when Khan and I are going to drive to ISU to pick up DTM and Asian.

Rumor has it that a friend from St. Louis (not Zerb) might be heading this way for the game. But that's just a rumor. A vicious, cruel, vicious rumor. Did I say vicious?

If you see any CNN newsflashes about degenerate poker players in IL, look away. It could be ugly.

It might take me a while to recover enough to post afterwards. Rest assured many pictures will be taken, hands recorded, candid (nekkid?) pictures of young college students MIGHT be posted (or at least available for purchase).


Tuesday, October 23, 2007



Yes, another bowling post.

As I have said before, Jimmy is on FIYAH this season. Last night he threw a 290 and I had the camera out to catch his last 3 strikes in the 10th frame. These are very short because I didn't want him to know I was videoing him so I had to be stealthy. Reader users click here for videos.

The team is always giving Trey a hard time for his less than quality strikes. I caught him in action with these.

I bowl after Trey but it seems that none of my teammates have a clue how to operate a camera so my strikeout in the 10th frame went unrecorded. Sigh.

Brickhouse was up next but he only managed a 9 count.

Sammy bowled anchor for us last night. He managed a 9 count as well.

Not bad for a bunch of lewzors. We won the first two games even without our handicap. The last game we needed it though.

The Internet

The Internet is the devil.

Thank gawd! It's not just me.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Non-Poker Trip Report

This is the perfect time of year to be taking a road trip. The roadsides are splattered with yellows, oranges, reds and greens. It's a true delight to see. Since I was driving I didn't get any pictures.

The scenery was delightful, the other drivers on the road, not so much. I was constantly getting cut off by some dipstick (ha ha ha, dipstick, get it?) going 1 mph over the speed limit trying to pass somebody else going 0.5 mph over the speed limit. This includes all the semis that just had to get past that semi in front of them while they were both moving at a glacial pace.

We arrived just in time to head to a local pizza place for dinner. It was good pizza. I definitely don't understand the crisscross cutting pattern favored by these local mid-western pizza places. I think I much prefer the pie slice method.

The troops headed to the Boonshoft Children's Museum in downtown Dayton. We met up with Khanwoman and her two girls. What a cool place. The kids had a great time. The adults had a great time watching the kids have a great time.

Somebody thinks these animals stinketh.

Someday I will have a dejavu of this I'm sure.

I can't believe these "peers" would convict anybody of anything.

What a ham.

OMG! A turtle ate my baby!

Princess Jennifer is amused by all this wakiness.

On Saturday we hit Young's Dairy in Yellow Spring, OH. They had a little petting zoo with goats, some calves, a couple calves and some cows. Mine were not interested in touching the animals.

Adam knows how to work the camera!

This is what happens when I tell them to get closer
and act like they know each other. Doh.

The lineup of the usual suspects.



We're off to see the wizard... oops, I mean, oooh a corn maze.

What a beautiful day!

OMGWTF!?!? Corn comes off a PLANT?

Look, mom! Corn!


Self Portrait.

Woooooot! What hawt wimmens!

All fun trips must come to an end. It's time we load up the rascals and head home. A peaceful car ride is aided by mucho technology.

Houston, we have lift off.


He He He! Stealth over the shoulder shot.

In the few days we were gone my ash tree has turned all yellow and dropped about half its leaves. The maple is all reddish orange and about half gone as well. I guess we are finally in the throws of fall even though it was 80° for our drive home yesterday.

Khanwoman and her mother are coming next week for HOME GAME, wooooooooot! Rumor has it that DTM and Asian may be playing as well. Damn, I better send out home game reminder!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Ohio Home Game

Went to Dayton this weekend to visit with friends who moved there from Arizona and Khanwoman, of course! Several effers live near Dayton so we have MUST HAVE A HOME GAME. Smboatdrinks hosts a regular home game anyway so he obliged for us.

Khanwoman, her brother, and I went to Smboatdrinks' home game last night.

Illini Fan also showed up in this shit. All I can say is ewwwwwww.

After watching boats play ATC I got in a hand with him. Of course he flopped top set to my underpair and got a lot of my chips when I put him on a flush draw (d'oh). I went out shortly after that with AJd (all the way with an A and a J) v AQ. Sigh. I suck.

We got a cash game going with IF, Eric, me, Mike and John. I ended up +11 in cash game which covered my initial buyin plus another $4 cause IF was kind enough to buy in twice without realizing it and we ended up splitting that $20 amongst everybody at the table.

Teresa played a great first game. They did a 5 way chop so we could start the next game.

Boats also made both final tables. That boy is the king of the splash around early to build up a chipstack then suckout. His button raise with 57o v HIS DAD ended up fugly when he flopped trips and turned a boat. He also ran QQ into Khan's AA but the door card was a Q. Live poker is RIGGED I tell you. He took me out of the second one, too. Button raise with 89h I shove for not much more with ATh he flopped and OESD and rivered his straight. IGHN.

The highlight of the evening was a hand at the second final table. Todd was getting very short. Somehow he got all his chips in with this hand.

Now, why do you think he's got such a huge smile on his face? Maybe this will explain it to you.

So, thanks for letting me donate to your home game Boats! I had a great time. Sorta. Well, ok, not really but poker is poker. :lol: :P :roll:

Friday, October 19, 2007

Effers v Fauxfers in Razz

I'm out of town and I really didn't think I would get to play tonight but the Team needed me and I was there for them.

I so wanted to go deep in this thing. We had already clinched the series victory when this hand came up.

Full Tilt Poker Game #3907334774: Forum Challenge (28760931), Table 2 - 800/1600 Ante 150 - Limit Razz - 22:37:42 ET - 2007/10/19
Seat 1: CAchipeater (5,114)
Seat 2: kyblue007 (7,834)
Seat 3: DraNDead (1,196)
Seat 4: njpokerhoney (7,777)
Seat 5: Squib (11,132)
Seat 6: Mathman1115 (16,350)
Seat 7: ComptonMasta (2,644)
Seat 8: gadzooks64 (6,228)
CAchipeater antes 150
kyblue007 antes 150
DraNDead antes 150
njpokerhoney antes 150
Squib antes 150
Mathman1115 antes 150
ComptonMasta antes 150
gadzooks64 antes 150
*** 3RD STREET ***
Dealt to CAchipeater [Qc]
Dealt to kyblue007 [Jh]
Dealt to DraNDead [Ad]
Dealt to njpokerhoney [7c]
Dealt to Squib [Jd]
Dealt to Mathman1115 [5d]
Dealt to ComptonMasta [Jc]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [5s 7h] [3d]
CAchipeater is high with [Qc]
CAchipeater brings in for 250
kyblue007 folds
DraNDead completes it to 800
njpokerhoney folds
Squib folds
gadzooks64: yep
Mathman1115 raises to 1,600
ComptonMasta folds
gadzooks64 calls 1,600
CAchipeater folds
ComptonMasta: lesbianament
DraNDead calls 246, and is all in
*** 4TH STREET ***
Dealt to DraNDead [Ad] [8d]
Dealt to Mathman1115 [5d] [As]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [5s 7h 3d] [Ac]
gadzooks64 bets 800
Mathman1115 calls 800
ComptonMasta: FTW
*** 5TH STREET ***
Dealt to DraNDead [Ad 8d] [9s]
Dealt to Mathman1115 [5d As] [6d]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [5s 7h 3d Ac] [Ks]
Mathman1115 bets 1,600
gadzooks64 calls 1,600
*** 6TH STREET ***
Dealt to DraNDead [Ad 8d 9s] [5h]
Dealt to Mathman1115 [5d As 6d] [Tc]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [5s 7h 3d Ac Ks] [3h]
ComptonMasta: fu Mathman
Mathman1115 bets 1,600
gadzooks64 calls 1,600
ComptonMasta: glglgl zooks
*** 7TH STREET ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [5s 7h 3d Ac Ks 3h] [6c]
ComptonMasta: BINK
Mathman1115 has 15 seconds left to act
Mathman1115 bets 1,600
gadzooks64 calls 478, and is all in
Uncalled bet of 1,122 returned to Mathman1115
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Mathman1115 shows [7s 2s 5d As 6d Tc 2c] 7,6,5,2,A
gadzooks64 mucks
ComptonMasta: ksafkjfkjl
Mathman1115 wins the side pot (10,064) with 7,6,5,2,A
ComptonMasta: NOOOOOOO
DraNDead mucks
Mathman1115 wins the main pot (4,588) with 7,6,5,2,A
DraNDead stands up
gadzooks64 stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 14,652 Main pot 4,588. Side pot 10,064. | Rake 0
Seat 1: CAchipeater folded on 3rd St.
Seat 2: kyblue007 folded on 3rd St.
Seat 3: DraNDead mucked [9c 6h Ad 8d 9s 5h 5c] - 9,8,6,5,A
Seat 4: njpokerhoney folded on 3rd St.
Seat 5: Squib folded on 3rd St.
Seat 6: Mathman1115 showed [7s 2s 5d As 6d Tc 2c] and won (14,652) with 7,6,5,2,A
Seat 7: ComptonMasta folded on 3rd St.
Seat 8: gadzooks64 mucked [7h 6c 3d Ac Ks 3h 5s] - 7,6,5,3,A

gadzooks1995: oh fuck me
ftfdesaxman13: asking for volunteers?
gadzooks1995: 76531
gadzooks1995: 76521
Zerbet: jesus
Zerbet: did you step on the dealer's toes or some shit?
gadzooks1995: guess so
lynx1956: gotta tip better
gadzooks1995: got effed hard
Zerbet: just for the record, pry dont wanna hear this now, but, mathman has only played razz three times
gadzooks1995: yeah he still sucks
thesnarf10: i didn't think it was taht many
Zerbet: no kidding
lynx1956: jerry yang syndrome
Zerbet: he is totally razztarded
thesnarf10: asian?
Zerbet: and lucky up the ass
lynx1956: bingo

Sigh, that was seriously painful.