Friday, January 30, 2009


How Many 90 Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?

My age is my handicap.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

How Bad Does Your Spouse Drive?

If you think you have it bad - and I know I do - check this out:

Race car driver takes spouse for a lap.

I [heart] Dr. Chako. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

New Ball?

What am I thinking?


When my last new ball was stolen it was so very traumatic for me. I hated my team, my bowling alley, the world.

I was, some say still am, bitter. Oh so very very bitter.

I rarely go into the pro shop - mostly because it is not open when I bowl. For the longest time I wasn't even interested in looking at the new balls. Did I mention I was bitter? Gradually I would find myself peeking over at the wall of balls.

My only criteria used to be that it be a pretty ball. I've adjusted my standards: now it has to be pretty AND no one else I know has one. I'm not taking the risk of putting away someone else's ball again.

My birthday is coming up and my family always struggles to find a gift for me. Well, more like I struggle to find something for them to get me but same same. A week or so ago I started thinking that it might be time for another new bowling ball. I plan to play a summer 2x4 league and it would be nice to have a new ball for that.

Today I stumbled across this:

I don't care who you are, that's one pretty ball. Since my pro shop doesn't carry this line it is unlikely that I will run into anybody else with this ball. That and it doesn't get released until the day before my birthday. For a while I might even own the only one in town.

My old standby ball is also a Hammer, a Blade. It's been a very reliable ball for me; I bowled my 299 game with it. The ball that was stolen, a Total NV, was performing very well for me but I don't want to get another one since everybody and their grandmother - and I do mean grandmother - has one. It's a very popular line at my pro shop and even some of the older women on my morning league chuck them down the lane every week.

I have actually pulled the trigger yet but I expect to do so very soon. Yes, I guess I am still bitter, but hopefully not for much longer.

More Stupid/System

I don't know where he gets it from.  Really, I don't.  Do these brilliant insights just attack him like a mugger?  Or are they epiphanies that spew from his body like bowel movements?  I don't much care really as long as he keeps them coming!

Here's a teaser:

Obviously you are playing this premium hand from any position, and the only question is how much to put in the pot. There are many valid schools of thought, each from one of the different “styles” of poker – such as Tight-Aggressive, Loose-Aggressive, Ultra-Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive, Trappy-Passive, Trappy-Aggressive, Trapper Keeper, Calling Station, Badonkadonk, Playing Dead (or “Opossum Style”), Drunken Master, Player Hater, and, of course, Straight-Up Gangsta. All these points have their merits, so let’s look at a few:

To get the rest of the story visit his blog or his guest posting gig over at Full Tilt.

Monday, January 26, 2009

WSOP 2009

The schedule has been released!

Click here to open the PDF file.

Now I can start planning my trip!


Saturday, January 24, 2009

Epic Home Game

Yeah, I know I say that each time but it's true.

Each one is better than the last.

My BFF T and her Dick came for a long weekend visit and, of course, I'm going to throw a Home Game in her honor. I cajoled (not) Zerb to join us and we had already committed to picking DTM up from ISU for the night's festivities.

Zooks, Dick & T Enjoying This

From Zooks Game 2009-1-17
(not) Zerb

From Zooks Game 2009-1-17

From Zooks Game 2009-1-17
Zooks & Predator

The big surprise was Predator jumping in the sexay mini-van (yeah yeah, glass houses, stones, I get it) and heading our way at the last minute. He blames me for not telling him but the man never reads a word I say because he's too busy imagining my lips moving. Srsly. I kid you not. We're busy chatting it up on IM when I mention that he's still got time to make it here for the cash game followed by the tournament and more cash game. After berating me for not mentioning this to him, he was on the road about 30 minutes later. At least he remember to pack his toothbrush.

T and I were picking up DTM when we got Predator's Patron order. Great, where the eff are we going to find Patron and still get home in time to set up for the cash game? Luckily I have the best stocked Fast Stop a block from my house! Wooooot!

For the first time I invited the tournament players to the pre-game cash game. Several opted to show up and we had a great time... until Predator arrived. That boy sure knows how to work a table over.

He ended up sitting on my immediate left because that was the big blind for the next hand. Horrible HORRIBLE decision on my part. Alas, he decided to raise it up when I was in the BB - I woke up with AQ and shipped on his petite perky ass. He hems and haws and says ok I call after I said I have overs (I know his opening range a little too well). Turns out I had his QTo dominated! The door card was a T but the next card was an A! Woooooooot! Ship it biatch. Of course I proceed to double his newly rebought butt up with 88 to his QQ a few hands later. Such is poker.

I was up a buyin when the cash game broke. I had forgotten that I had not reinstalled or reconfigured the Tournament Director software and was scrambling at the last minute to get that setup. D'oh.

We were expecting about 15-16 players and ended up with 22. Yet another unanticipated hitch. I had to setup another table and borrow folding chairs from my neighbor but even so we got started maybe 10 minutes late.

The starting stack was a generous 7500 in chips and the structure was very slow. I allow only one rebuy after going broke up through the end of the 4th level; we've been averaging around 4-7 rebuys and had 7 rebuys on this night. I didn't have to rebuy but only because I managed to hit a one outter.

From Zooks Game 2009-1-17
Live poker is rigged!

That's right. I got about 1/2 my stack in drawing to one out. One. Dink. The case 7 hits on the river and Jack is going home early. I felt bad. But not for long. He did win my last home game so he can't really complain. Such is poker.

I get sent to the cash table when my 66 < A8o. I don't recall if Predator got there shortly before or shortly after me but life at that table was never the same again. One guy left in disgust - he wasn't having a very good night to begin with and Predator just drove him over the edge.

Predator is a professional poker player. He's used to much higher stakes. He played with reckless abandon... and hit mercilessly. He rivered more trips, flopped more two pair... in other words sucked out with the adroit skill of a professional luckbox. We've discussed his diamond encrusted horseshoe shoved so far up his perky ass that it may never ever see the light of day ad naseum on the forum. We [heart] our Predator. But we definitely [heart] him more when he's taking other people's money. Just sayin.

Fike and Toby essentially chopped first and second place. Toby's on a hot streak. He won another tournament I played in recently.

From Zooks Game 2009-1-17
Fike rocking my white trash sunglasses!
From Zooks Game 2009-1-17
Shane looks hawt in my sunglasses!
From Zooks Game 2009-1-17
Why, yes, I do have 6 pairs of them. What's your point?

Yes, there will be another home game.

Yes, you are invited. Don't make excuses like Predator!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Bend to My Will

I have a long list of things to do today - including a write up about this weekend's Home Game - but that's last on the list.  In the meantime enjoy this:

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Picture

... is sometimes the bright spot of your morning.

This made me laugh.  Hard.  Harder than you can imagine.


And now I'm off to get a Strep Test.  Let's hope I pass, er, fail.  I don't think I can handle 8 more days of this crap.  Give me meds, damnit!  Now!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Tech Support

Oh I know I've done a rant or two about how much "help" I get from Tech Support.  It's not unusual for me to actually know more about my problem than the first two levels of Tech Support that I manange to whine my way through.

My kids, of course, don't pay any attention at all to what I say when it comes to their computers.  I have threatened them about installing strange software or clicking on any links that might pop up on the webpages the peruse.

The biggest problem with my kids' computers is related to Maplestory.  Maplestory in the online game my kids have become addicted to, it's a childish verison of WoW.  Lucky me.  The worst part is that the game HAS to be run in Administrator mode.  I've been forced to grant them administrative privileges on their computers so they can run this stupid program.

It was only a few weeks ago that one of my kids managed to download some inocuous malware.  I was able to get rid of it after a spyware scan.  What really bothered me about it was the fact that he'd had it for a while before he even bothered to mention it to me.  I gave them both the lecture, removed Safari and forced them to use FireFox after I installed WOT (Web Of Trust) add-on.  I explained that they should never ever click anything marked as Red by WOT.  I think they "got" that and promised not to click anything dangerous again.

I popped down to the basement today and noticed an icon in the system tray that hadn't been there before.  I opened it up and figured out it was something we definitely didn't want: a virtual private network (VPN).  I just about came unglued.

I promptly uninstalled it from both machines and grilled the little rocket scientists about how it got on their computers.  "I don't know," doesn't sound good in stereo.  Much yelling and screaming ensued - Zooks was totally pissed off and new I was being lied to.

It was surprisingly difficult to convince them that I thought I had a much bigger problem if they "didn't know how it got on there" than if they did and just weren't admitting to it.  Clearly they can't be trusted with such high tech equipment if software could get installed on  their computer without them being aware it.  After much discussion the oldest admitted that another player on Maplestory hounded him for days on end to download and install the software so he finally did it to shut him up.


Peer pressure.

Epic Fail.

This boy never even thought to mention this to me.  Not once.  He did say he reported the guy many times but he continued to harrass him.  So, in his infinite wisdom he just went ahead and installed this software.

I explained to him in great detail what he did, how wrong it was, and how I will never be able to trust him again on that computer.  I will have to inspect his computer on a daily basis just to make sure nothing else is going to pop up out of the blue.

I thought computers were supposed to make your life easier.  Silly me.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Google Reader redux

So, yeah, I know you're getting tired of hearing me rant and rave about Google Reader.  So this time I'll let them tell you all about it.

Have you ever had a friend or family member who you know would love using Google Reader? Have you ever had trouble explaining to that same friend or family member just how using Reader could make their lives easier (and more fun)? We sure have, so if you're anything like us then we have some useful tools in store for you.
The Google Reader Team is proud to introduce several new help resources designed specifically at introducing beginners to using Reader: Google Reader Help Videos and the Google Reader Getting Started Guide, both accessible directly from our Help Center.

Feel free to let us know what you think by commenting on the videos or by leaving feedback in our Help Forum. Although the videos are aimed at beginners, we're hoping to eventually cover even more advanced and lesser-known features in the same visual and step-by-step manner.
Now get watching, Readers! And don't forget to send the link along to your favorite beginner, newbie, or visual learner!

Thursday, January 08, 2009


Ever heard of a PokerTek electronic poker table? 

Ever wanted to play on one?

I did.

And, I did.

Read all about it.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009