Monday, April 28, 2008

Poker, Poker & More Poker!

Wow, where to start.

T arrived late Friday and we stayed up about 2 hours just bullshitting. We knew the next day was going to be a busy one so we finally called it a day at 12:30am.

The next day was the Baseball Skills Assessment for the Zooks boys. It was cool with a biting wind and since TOH was out of town I had to take the boys. T and her girls came along as we were going to drop her vehicle to get the windows tinted.

We ran some errands after dropping off her wheels and then met up at Joe's Crab Shack for lunch. A couple more errands to load up on supplies for the evening and then home to get showered for the night.

DTM, Asian and Billy Vanilly showed up at 4:30pm. We had the cash game up and running at 4:31... ok, not really but darn close. We popped the pizzas in the oven, poured some drinks and the chips were flying.

I took DTM's first buyin when he had a worse kicker than me and I called his shove on the flop cause that's how I roll. Then I donated it all when we played the last hand before the tourney.

I limped in with a reasonable PLO hand (5 handed), QsJs83s. T completed from the SB and DTM check the BB.

T led out on the flop and DTM called I potted it thinking I might very well have the best hand (or maybe outdraw, d'oh); we got it all in. Boy was I wrong. One buy in down.

We had 15 runners for the home game and we had a live table going. T and I were the only effers on our table but the rest of the players were definitely in the mood to gamboooool. We had more rebuys on our table and when we combined tables the chip leader came from our table - that bitch.

I screwed myself when I shoved from the button with Th9h hoping to steal the blinds right after the rebuy ended but nooooo o o o o the SB woke up with AhJh. Luckily he was shorter than I was and I still had some chips left. I shoved my meager stack in with TT only to be called by Q8c. It was so painful to watch him runner runner flush me. Sigh.

T won a HUGE pot just before the final table when she ran her 66 into KQo AIPF and spiked a 6 on the river to outrun his flopped TPDK.

The Bitch went to the final table with a ginormous stack only to get run down and go out ITM in 4th to break even on her buyin. She joined the rest of us in the lewzor's lounge playing cash games in the basement.

Rumor has it that Gordo and Steve chopped most of 1st and 2nd and played it out. I think Gordo won but I left after the sexy pokerslut laid out the prize pool prior to the commencement of HU play. So, yes, it's true... I don't always cash in my home game.

Gary (my neighbor), and his friends, Ross and Chris, were just crazy enough to join us in our cash game madness. Little do they know how much we've played together and that it can get a little wild. A couple hands in I raised from the button with KQd only to get called by Asian who would totally call there with ATC (any two cards). The flop came out J84. Asian check-raised me and I called. The turn was another small blank card and Asian led for $5 and I called. The river another blank and Asian shoved. I thought a little bit and said, "Aight, I call." He mucks his cards. I showed him a K. I'm Gary and Ross were thinking, "OMGWTF did we just get into?"

I ended up donating those chips to DTM after I raised 99 and he reraised me. We see a flop of 884. I check, DTM shoves and I call. He shows AK and spikes a K on the turn. Sigh.

T got him back for me later though when she spike a T on the turn to take down hi TPTK. He he he.

I don't exactly remember how but I managed to make enough in the after game to break even for the weekend. I might actually have won a couple dollars. But the best part was being with my effers and playing poker. I think this may very well have been the best Home Game yet.

IF you want to see more pictures and some drunken video, well then you're just my kind of person! Click here.

I can't believe I stumbled to bed at 3am only to wake up at 6:30 unable to go back to sleep. I ended up cleaning up before everybody else got up. I did squeeze in a nap in the afternoon which I desperately needed.

The PokerSlut Tour started at 8pm and I had no excuse for not playing. The game was stud. Seven Card Stud. I know you might find this hard to believe but I'm actually something of a stud. If I say so myself. I lie. But, I did win a $5 Stud MTT on FTP once upon a time. So, given a lot of luck and some incompetent players I might have a shot at going deep.

Luck. Ok, I had my share.

Incompetent players. Hahahahahh! I wish.

We have some very good players that show up for the PokerSlut Tour week after week. This is our 9th season so you know most of these people are ahead of the curve by now although we did have one player that asked what "bi" was. (bi = bring in, fyi).

I was so tired the last hour of the tournament that I was laying my head in my hands and closing my eyes between every hand. Unfortunately by the time we got down to the bubble I wasn't really able to do that much.

Pretty much the only thing I recall is this hand:

I had to bring in and he folded. Sigh.

Heads up lasted something like 25 minutes. It was a roller coaster ride with both us waaaaaaay up and waaaaaay down. I had a huge hand at the end that totally whiffed on 7th street. I was doubled guttered and had an A high flush draw only to lose with A high to two pair. That was the last nail in the coffin. GG Rascony.

Today, I decided to play some ring on FTP today to test out the HUD in the beta of PokerTracker 3 when this hand came up.

And on that note.

Peace out.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Suburban Sprawl

I decided to treat my fat thighs to a ride down the Rock Island Trail on this perfect spring day. The ride north is usually about an hour long 16ish mile ride while the southern route is about 30 minutes and 8ish miles. As out of shape as I am I figured the shorter route would come short of causing heart failure while the longer would assuredly send me to an early grave.

This couldn't be a better day for trail riding: breezy and about 75°.

One of the first times I road the trail I was amazed at the amount of wild life and beautiful greenery. The ride was so peaceful with only the chirping of the birds and croaking of the frogs mixed in the with the occasional whiff of manure. I once ran over a snake before I realized it wasn't a stick in the middle of the trail! Now that wasn't terribly relaxing. I fully expected this jaunt to be like all my other trips down the trail.

Boy was I in for a surprise.

A couple years ago a small, very upscale (think $800K houses) neighborhood was developed just south of the Village. There was also a very large, similarly upscale neighborhood at the end of the trail and the edge of "Town".

Today there were, not one, not two, but three new subdivisions well under way between here and "Town". THREE! With people already living in some of the homes! I tell ya. Suburbia is knocking at my door.

When we bought this house 6 miles out of "Town" in this small Village I thought I was WAAAAAAAAY out of town. Little did I know "Town" was going to meet me sooner rather than later.

I felt cheated. I expected this long peaceful ride alone with my thoughts (no, not porn; ok maybe porn) but no, I was treated to hammering, sawing, and beeping of heavy equipment. The smell of manure, while still there was mixed with the smell of paint and freshly cut lumber. What a letdown.

And the worst part? Soon all these new homeowners will be jamming the trail with their bodies, bikes, and strollers. Sigh. I'll have to give up the short trek and stick to the long ride. I rarely encounter more than a handful of people on the long ride while the short one is littered with obstacles - just today this guy was loitering on a bridge over a creek yapping on his cell phone STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BRIDGE WHILE I WAS RIDING AT HIM FULL SPEED and he only barely managed to give me enough room to pass before I plowed his ass over.

How bad of shape am I in? Well, the short ride USED to take me about 30 minutes out and back. Today it took me a glorious 47 minutes. I guess I was taking it a little too leisurely even though my heart rate was well into the 80% range. D'oh!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Camera Drama

I ordered a new camera. I am in love my Fuji cameras but I found another one that I really really wanted. The downside was that Fuji has discontinued this camera making it difficult to find. I've been doing periodic google searches only to find that many of these places saying they had it were actually out of stock or it was on back order.

After actually talking to this one place on the phone I placed my order for a kit - including a bunch of stuff I already had but they wouldn't break it up for me. I was so excited when the box was delivered yesterday afternoon. I ripped open the box and unloaded all the "extras" I didn't need. I opened the box and whipped out the camera body but was confused because it sure didn't look like what I was expecting.

Maybe this will explain it:

After spending 30 minutes in the same queue multiple times waiting to speak to a customer service representative I finally get to tell my story of woe. Then, the guy tries to convince me that the camera I got is actually an upgrade to the one I order (not bloody likely) and wouldn't I rather have it? Uh, hell no.

So he emails me an RMA request for that I dutifully filled out and faxed back. I noticed this as I was reading the form:


Man, talk about customer service. Sigh. I knew I should hold out for a place that has at least one positive rating on Google Shopping. I was lulled by the salesman telling me they had 3 in stock when I had so much difficulty finding them at all. So, with any luck in, oh, about never I'll get the camera I actually ordered.

Spring has Sprung


It finally feels springish here in the Midwest. I'm sure the farmers were all wondering if winter was ever going to end.

It seems as if my plants went from dead to blooming overnight. I'm eagerly awaiting my tulips as I do every year. My only problem with them is that they don't last nearly long enough.

You might recall that we had some landscaping done last fall. It seems we have one winter casualty that will need to be replaced. Surprisingly the rest are all looking very nice. The mums may not have made it through the unusually harsh winter we had but they aren't that expensive to replace.

My rhododendrons have already started to blooming and attracted this little visitor.

My neighbor with the green thumb stopped by to talk about landscaping. She helped me with the trimming of my mums. I have no green thumb whatsoever. It's a miracle any of the stuff planted in my yard survives from one year to the next. I guess mother nature is far more resilient that I give her credit for.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Banned Full Tilt Commercials

I know we've all seen these before but they are just so good that they are definitely worth another view. I guess some people are just now finding these even though they've been out for quite some time. I'm sure the "banned" part just added to their cache.

These always give me a good chuckle. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Trashed and a Lock

So we locked up the leauge champ[sionship tonight.

I'm trshed.

I started off with a shot of Patron.

Nxt game was a shot of cherry something or orther and some beer.

LAst game I shared a long island iced tea and I still shot a 599 second highest for the team. Woooooooot!

P.S. I think I sent pics of my boobs to people. Please ignore tha.


That would be me!

Check out the results of last night's PokerSlut Tour.

Do I really have to say it? I hate O8. There. I said it.

Friday, April 11, 2008


That's for you Snarf!

I spent the morning developing a deep appreciation for my newly installed toilet seat. Not at all the way I wanted to start my day.

Let's just say I am now fresh outta poop and some of my breakfast as well. I know, I know: TMI!

Who needs a high colonic when you can catch some stomach bug that you'll enjoy almost as much?

Monday, April 07, 2008

Random & Crappy

I'm going to steal a concept from my buddy Hrbek and fill this post with random and crappiness. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and don't you forget it.

I donked my way in 3rd place in the PokerSlut Tour last night.

4th hand in:

Full Tilt Poker Game #5933069599: Pokerslut Tour IX (41935241), Table 2 - 15/30 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:02:14 ET - 2008/04/06
Seat 1: stpetebeach (2,985)
Seat 2: Mangus (3,000)
Seat 3: gadzooks64 (2,955)
Seat 4: VBDave (3,015)
Seat 5: Thitsa (3,000)
Seat 6: Lillian2611 (3,045)
VBDave posts the small blind of 15
Thitsa posts the big blind of 30
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [5s 7s]
Lillian2611 folds
stpetebeach folds
Mangus calls 30
gadzooks64 calls 30
VBDave calls 15
Thitsa checks
*** FLOP *** [7d 4c 5c]
VBDave bets 90
Scoot2 (Observer): ZOOKKKKKKKKKSS, Mango & Lil!!!
Thitsa folds
Mangus calls 90
gadzooks64 raises to 480
VBDave raises to 1,100
Mangus: hey scoot
Mangus has 15 seconds left to act
Lillian2611: scoooooooooooot
Mangus calls 1,010
gadzooks64 raises to 2,925, and is all in
VBDave raises to 2,985, and is all in
Mangus has 15 seconds left to act
Mangus calls 1,870, and is all in
VBDave shows [7c 8c]
Mangus shows [Jc 9c]
gadzooks64 shows [5s 7s]
Uncalled bet of 15 returned to VBDave
*** TURN *** [7d 4c 5c] [3d]
*** RIVER *** [7d 4c 5c 3d] [3s]
VBDave shows two pair, Sevens and Threes
Mangus shows a pair of Threes
VBDave wins the side pot (90) with two pair, Sevens and Threes
gadzooks64 shows two pair, Sevens and Fives
gadzooks64 wins the main pot (8,895) with two pair, Sevens and Fives
Mangus stands up
stpetebeach stands up
gadzooks64 stands up
VBDave stands up
Thitsa stands up
Lillian2611 stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 8,985 Main pot 8,895. Side pot 90. | Rake 0
Board: [7d 4c 5c 3d 3s]
Seat 1: stpetebeach didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Mangus showed [Jc 9c] and lost with a pair of Threes
Seat 3: gadzooks64 (button) showed [5s 7s] and won (8,895) with two pair, Sevens and Fives
Seat 4: VBDave (small blind) showed [7c 8c] and won (90) with two pair, Sevens and Threes
Seat 5: Thitsa (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 6: Lillian2611 didn't bet (folded)

You can highlight the black test to see the results. I spewed some chips later when I hit my flush on the river at the same time as somebody hit her full house, doh. I also spewed when my overpair ran into a set. Such is life. The final table was tight tight tight so I had to resort to stealing every opportunity I could find. I chose a piss poor time to do it:

[side note: children just walked into the house and I said, "Hello, strangers," only to be told, "We're not strangers, we're Lindsay Lohan." Doh!]

Back to the hand at hand excerpted from the victim's blog:

Hand #5934891459 begins at 2008/04/07 04:20:28
scottc25 folds
gadzooks64 raises to 7,340 and is all-in
Wisconsin Lefty folds
Lillian2611 raises to 10,635 and is all-in I'm 2:1 pre-flop
ElSnarfGrande folds
Mrs Slys Money folds
Dealing Flop [Qd 7s Kc] I'm 83% to win
Dealing Turn [Jd] Perhaps surprisingly, I go down to 77% here
Dealing River [6d] Bonk ... That's poker!
gadzooks64 has [5d Ad]
gadzooks64 has Flush, Ace High
Lillian2611 has [Js Jh]
Lillian2611 has Three of a Kind, Jacks
gadzooks64 wins 16,030 with Flush, Ace High
Boy did I catch grief for that. Oops.

Started going back to the gym. Khan has guilted me into it. She looks amazing and I don't. So there it is.

Good news: many more hawt guys at gym now than when I stopped going. Well, I suppose that is good and bad news as the hawt guys won't wanna look at yours truly. Sigh

[side note: Zooks99 turned down an ice cream sandwich which is totally out of character so I asked, "Who are you and what did you do with Zooks99. Oh, wait. Nevermind. I forgot. You are Lindsay Lohan." That was worth a few chuckles.]

Published the PokerSlut Leaderboard in record time today.

Finishing up 18 Brazillian loads of laundry.

Just installed a new toilet seat.

Yes, it was gross.

No, I won't do it for you. Not even for money.

The now legendary Home Game is on for April 26th. You should come. No, really, you should. Not you [not Zerb]! But, you, yeah you definitely should come.

Khanwoman will be here and rumor has it DTM and his degenerate friends might make an appearance.

It's a secret but somebody's [not Khanwoman's] birthday is coming up in May and this would be the perfect time to show how much you care by hopping in that little foreign job you have and making the short trip to Casa Zooks to play some poker.

Just sayin.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Back to Poker

So, I finally fire up FTP to play a little poker - my first since returning from Jamaica.

Read all about it on The Corporation Poker blog.

Warning: It wasn't pretty so don't go there Macanthony. Just don't even click that link. I don't want to hear you whining about my bad beat posts, because, really it wasn't a bad beat post. Really. Truly. I wouldn't lie to you about that. I just wouldn't. Would I?

Wednesday, April 02, 2008



Crapload of Nothing ahead.

No Poker Content.


Get over it.

It's that time of year - that time when the pasty white people from the northern latitudes flock to the Caribbean in hopes of seeing some sunshine and maybe even catching a dose of sun poisoning.

We headed out on Easter Sunday morning for our mostly uneventful flights to Montego Bay. The 1.5 hour bus ride to our hotel was stomach churning to say the least. The weather was horrid when we landed: overcast and raining. It would be the theme for the week unfortunately. Every day about noon it would start to cloud up and rain. Some days it didn't let up until near sunset.

When the sun was out, though, it was paradise.

Our little home away from home. Turns out they had overbooked the room we had paid for so they put us up in this two story, two bedroom, two bathroom with full kitchen condo unit!

Luckily we were up early and on the beach when the sun was up until lunchtime. Then we would dive for cover. We did get satellite tv in the room even if it was mostly cricket. The kids learned how to play it and then found a cricket paddle on the beach. They ended up playing cricket daily in between vollyball, tennis and swimming.

While the facilities were dated and showing their wear the property was stunning. They had a main beach, an adult beach, a snorkling cove with caves in addition to the beach bars.

Perhaps the best thing about this place was the all inclusive bar! Woooooot! I managed to drink myself silly: Miami Vices, Pina Coladas, Strawberry Daquiris, Dirty Bananas, Hummingbirds, Rum and Diets, Gin and tonics, and let's not forget Red Stripe!

We did two excursions the first of which was a 3 for 1 starting with the Black River tour, then the YS Falls and ending with the Appleton Rum Estate. The black river was awesome! The crocodiles were HUGE and very quiet. We spotted this guy as well as a spear fisherman on the river.

YS falls was very pretty. They had a lot of rope swings for the kids to play on.

The sunsets were spectacular.

The trees and plants were so varied and unusual. I took a walk every morning and evening looking for good photo opportunities. I was always pleased to find several good candidates waiting for me. I took so many different shots of this tree - you can see all the pictures in the picasa album.

Perhaps the most unusual sitings were the plethora of these I saw while there:

Jamaica was spectacularly beautiful when the sun was shining. The natives were very nice and that accent was entertaining. However, it is sickening how poor this country is overall. For a country that has been a part of the European community for so many hundreds of years it hasn't been able to break out of the cycle of poverty and corruption. It seems that they are really pushing hard to develop the tourism industry which is a double edged sword but I sure hope that they have good strong leadership to help them improve on their current situation.