Friday, August 29, 2008

Hard Working Engineer

Now wait one minute.  You mean Engineers get PAID to do this shit?  
Srsly?  Ok, that's it.  I need a job.

Pot Limit Omaha

OMG!?!??!!? SRSLY?  A poker post

I must be kidding!

No, really!  There's a poker post

Would I lie to you?  Uh, nm.  Just click it already.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


I am a beast.

A bowling bitch beast.  (Yeah you can keep you nasty comments to yourself, Mac.)

I bowled 2 games this summer with the boys.  That's it.  That's all.  Wasn't even sure I'd be able to make it through 3 games today.

I did start to lift some hand weights a few weeks back thinking that it might help me tolerate bowling again.  I'm not sure what happened.  Maybe the stars aligned just right, maybe my chacres are all lined up, maybe my new hairdo inspired me, regardless, I bowled outta my ever loving mind today.

203, 222, 241 = 666

The beast is back.  Without handicap.  D'oh.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Back to School, Bowling & Poker Blahs

School has officially started now that the parents have attended Back to School night.  That's right, no excuses now.  It's time to get back to work.  I have a couple volunteer jobs at the boys' school and took on yet another one at the last Parents' Club Meeting.


So, yes, my summer is over, too.  Time to organize the spirit wear orders, start the scrip ordering system and get the Parents' Club website in order.

Bowling starts for me tomorrow morning.  I threw two games this summer.  They were decent enough games but, alas, only two.  My arm may fall off before then end of bowling tomorrow. 

The Monday morning league meeting isn't until after the Labor Day holiday so I may change my mind about bowling in it by then.  Depends on how these first two weeks on Thursday mornings go.

I know several of you are expecting a poker post.  Here's a short but sweet recap:

Fike's Tournament:
Started 5 or 6 handed.  Had a ton of "want to see a flop hands" that did nothing but get me in trouble.  Either I would totally whiff the flop (most of the time) or I would flop something and spew chips.  Shoved with 89sooooooooted only to be called by uber-clueless lucktard with Q2o and neither of us improved even though I doubled my outs by flopping an oesd.  So I sat there chatting on AIM with a friend while I watched the final table play out without me. 

My Home Game:
Again, started off short handed.  Managed to spew a ton of chips but with some aggressive play got back close to even when we finally lost a player and went down to one table.  Picked up QQ in late position and repopped a raiser.  I thought it was Paul who had raised;  Paul is famous for his Any Two Cards approach to poker so I was happy to re-pop him knowing I was well ahead of his opening range.  That's when I found out that is was Mr. Gunn - a reasonably good player - who had made the opening raise.  Mkay.  He shoved my reraise and I had to call but I figured he had outs, at the very least I figured he had an A.  Lucky for me he showed JJ and was drawing very slim - my hand held. 

Nothing interesting until we got down to the bubble.  The blinds were 1000/2000 and I had 10,500.  I shoved from button with K9o and got called by Paul with A7.  He spikes a 7 and I  never improved.  Just call me Bubble Bitch.

When Fike's friend, Derek, busted out we started a 3 handed cash game on a chair adjacent to the main table!  That was interesting to say the least.  I chipped up a little then spewed to Derek when my draw missed.  Finally we had more cash players so they moved the game to the table.  I missed a few hands over there while I was involved in hands at the tournament table but overall it was fun running back and forth.  Once we got to the bubble though I had to tell them to deal me out.

I rejoined the cash game after I busted out and managed to make back the tournament entry so all was not lost. 

Online Poker
I did squeeze in a token frenzy on FTP one afternoon this week.  The evening version of this tournament usually pays out about 50 spots but this one was only paying 40 places.  I was blinded down before I made a comeback.  I did pick up several AX hands after the antes hit and open shoved to steal the blinds.  Took out a shorty with AQ to have a comfortable enough lead that I was able to fold into the token. 

I have a pretty good track record of scoring in these frenzies, both the $24 and $75 ones.  My hope is to start playing some of the bigger MTTs with them.  In the past I've played SNGs but I think I my style of play is more suited to the MTTs.

I did download SNG Wizard recently.  I want to get better at my endgame; I've heard that even just the free trial period will help that tremendously.

After I get settled in with all my other jobs I hope to get on a poker playing schedule. 

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Instant Messaging

Those of you that know me "personally" know that I'm a big IMer.  Back in the dark ages I signed up for an AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) account.  I eventually registered for a Yahoo Messenger account as well though now I rarely use it.  I even signed up for an MSN account that has also been abandoned. 

The AIM client, while much improved from the first versions, sucks.  There, I said it.  I much prefer Trillian for my IM client.  Trillian aggregates all the major IM programs into one: AIM, Yahoo, MSN, ICQ and they even have a plugin to run IRC chatrooms for you.

While the file transfer utility doesn't always function between AIM and Trillian users I still prefer the Trillian interface enough to overlook that.  Besides, I've talked most of my friends into using Trillian ;).

Speaking of transferring files.  AIM/Trillian is awesome for sharing files - be they pictures, music or video.  IM file transfer >>>>>> email. 

Verizon and all the major cell phone service providers have figured out that users love IM.  They have software that allows you to stay in touch with all your virtual friends even when you are AFK (away from keyboard, duh).  Most of these plans charge you for each IM sent and received as if it were a text message.  Which is all fine and dandy if you have unlimited texting...  IF you have UNLIMITED TEXTING.   

My Q9c is a Windows Mobile device.  AIM has now released a version of their client that runs on Window Mobile.  Instead of using the text messaging system it uses your data account.  Now THAT I have.  I installed the software this morning and played with it a little; it looks to be quite nice. 

I did have to reinstall the AIM client on my computer to update my buddy list, which has gotten seriously out of hand.  I definitely found a few bugs with AIM's buddy list.  It gets very, VERY confused when you make A LOT OF CHANGES.  As a matter of fact it pretty much ignores everything but the first few changes you make.  Sigh.  I guess I"ll be stuck with it for a while until I get all my changes/updates recognized but then it's right back to my well loved Trillian.

Regardless, I now have a traveling AIM client.  So, you never know when you hit me up whether I'm out n about or have my ass firmly embedded in my chair at home.  Lucky you.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Mac Chattage

It's been some time since Mac has embarrassed himself in chat.

Time to remedy that.

Mac: the pokersluts site is the sucks
Zooks: suhwheat
Mac: for some reason, the results graphic shows up at random intervals on my computer
Zooks: lol
Mac: I can click refresh and will get random results involving the current seasons total and the overall total
Mac: including one of either one, both or none
Zooks: yeah you have to view using IE tab in FF
Mac: the overall totals image seems to show with a greater frequency
Zooks: cause it's a Window live bs thing
Mac: how about I don't, cause that's both lame and ghey
Mac: at the same thime
Mac: thyme
Zooks: don't look at me
Mac: consecutively - not concurrently
Mac: I've complained, now I expect to see results
Zooks: glwt
Zooks: hands are tied
Zooks: free website from MS weenies
Zooks: they make the rules
Zooks: nothing I can do about it
Mac: don't use MS
Mac: how about that?
Mac: it's still broken
Mac: I want RESULTS!!!

I respond a while later

Zooks: uh, do more pushups?

I do love me some Mac chattage, don't you?

Thursday, August 21, 2008


I had never even heard of Craigslist until my favorite Khanwoman posted an absolutely hilarious diatribe about men and sex in the personals section of her local Craigslist. All I can say is, "OMGWTF are you men thinking?" Srsly.

Alas, my experience with Craigslist has nothing to do with that kind of commerce.

With my mother's impending visit looming in the back of my mind my thoughts turned to housekeeping. No, really. My mother has, in the past, slept in the finished portion of our basement - we didn't finish a separate bedroom but there's room for that later if we want. Dispel any thoughts you may have an dank, dreary basements you may have encountered in the past. Our home is a mere 4 years old and the basement was finished with the same quality construction as the rest of the house.

When we aren't entertaining guests the basement is the playpen for our boys. Their two desktop computers reside on a 9 foot long counter not far from their own entertainment center (no play station type game console but plenty of those cheap plug-in games to keep most boys happy). We won't even mention the ginormous toy closet stuffed with the detritus of 10 years of childhood or the kewl under-the-stairs hide away for secret club meetings. There's even a full bathroom down there. I think posh covers it nicely.
When my mother is here, however, the boys aren't allowed free reign in the basement.  Did I mention that she's here for 4 weeks at a time?

I decided it was time to reclaim the 4th bedroom from the unused health equipment and make it into the guest room is always should have been.  Luckily the handyman had a few spare moments for his crew to haul my stuff to the basement for me and bring the bed upstairs.  The bedroom lacks only a dresser and it will be all set for my mother's visit.

But, what to do with all this dreck that we've accumulated?  Enter Craigslist.  I set up an account and listed the elliptical machine (I couldnt' convince TOH to part with the recumbent bike he's ignored for nearly 6 years now) and 2 TVs in a few minutes.  A few hours later one of the TVs left my house for a loving home with children.  Two days later the elliptical was gone to a good home as well.

Emboldened by my recent success, I scoured my basement for any other items that might also find a good home.  Since I'm a computer geek I found all kinds of peripherals and parts, etc.  I decided to give it a go.

Less than 30 minutes ago this guy who owns a PC consulting business walked out of here $200 lighter carrying several keyboards, mice, a router, wireless cards & dongles and my dead laptop (I had already removed the HDs and the RAM leaving him with a wireless card, keyboard, fried motherboard and the working monitor).  I think we both think we got the best of that deal LOL!  Win win is always good.

Craigslist: eBay and sex. 

Hmmm... speaking of a dresser.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

School, Bowling & Poker

Today is the first full day of school for the Zooks boys. I couldn't be more delighted. Zooks99 dropped by with two of his favorite Webkinz for me to take care of while he is gone all day. I guess having GrandKinz isn't all it's cracked up to be.

The goal for today is to make it to the gym. I've been living a little too large this summer. I think it's time to get that back under control.

I found out last night that there's a good chance NEITHER of my bowling teams will be coming back this year. Damn young people and their schedules. I'll be calling the league coordinator today to see if there are any morning league teams that need a bowler. I'm thinking I will stick to two morning leagues this year - if I can get on a team. The evenings are already so busy and it will be much easier on my schedule if I do away with night time bowling. This has NOTHING to do with possibly playing poker in the evenings. Nothing, I say.
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Monday, August 18, 2008

Blog Pimpage Redux

I'd like to profusely thank my buddy Clark for this clearly wholesome image that he used to lure me to pimp his blog.  I'm a sucker for wholesome.  Just sayin.

Don't judge Clark by his taste in wholesome photos.  He's also wicked funny.  Give him a try.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

PokerSlut Tour X HORSE

I Hate Technology Too

First they came up with those capris pants for basketball players and now they have full body swimsuits for swimmers.  Sigh.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

MMMM mmm mmm

What's not to like in this pic?

Yep, pretty much nothing. Absolutely nothing. Don't mind the spittle.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

More Stupid/System

Just when you finally stopped laughing at the last chapter here comes a new one to aggravate the hernia you forgot you had!

Just to tease you:

What is your table image? Obviously, since you’ve read this far, you are using the most lucky table image (Space), but also remember that you have been playing awesome poker, so it’s likely these guys are intimidated by you.

Stupid/System Chapter 10: Hand Ranges


Don't forget: there's more where that came from!

Tooth Brushing

And I thought this only happened to me....

Monday, August 11, 2008


I'm truly a newb at photography. I have no clue what I'm doing. I take enough pictures that I can occasionally get lucky and take a nice one. I'm getting much better at framing a good picture but I have no clue how to use the manual settings. So, essentially, I'm only as good as my camera.

I do have some friends that are quite good at it though. Go check them out.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Back to School

My poor mother.  She had me and my brother almost exactly one year apart.  If that wasn't torture enough we were different sexes.  Every year she had to shop for new school clothes for the both of us.  No such thing as hand-me-downs for us.

Luckily for me, I had two boys.  My youngest isn't terribly picky about clothes but the other one gives me fits.   Zooks97 constantly tells me he'll wear something in order to get me to buy it so that it can languish in his closet with the tags still on it until it gets handed down in pristine condition to his brother who will promptly spill food on it.  Zooks97's favorite complaint is that he has, "Nothing to wear that I like".

For the longest time, Zooks99 was able to wear the pants and shirts that were handed down.  This year, however, he's developed a belly, and hips to go with it, that are incompatible with the slims that his brother wore.  I submitted him to the annual torture test of trying on all the pants that came down to make sure they actually fit before the first day of school.  OMG this boy is going to go from size 8 to size 10 husky in mere months.  They are on the verge of wearing the same size shirts now, too.  Good thing swimming starts up soon. 

You should see the mountain of clothing that is getting sent to Salvation Army this year!  I guess that's what happens when you jump a size.

P.S.  Gotta love Google when this picture comes up in a search for "back to school clothes".  Who am I to argue?  School clothes sure didn't look like that when I was a student.  SFOBV.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Cowboys & Indians


I've been memed. I just realized I need to add Clark to my Blogroll. Not sure how I missed him. I may be too tired after this to get to it though. I'm feeling all weak and worn out.

Anyway, you know the drill.

Bend over, take it like a man.

All of you are wondering who I'm going to nail with it... pussies.

The Rules: Rules are posted at the beginning. At the end of the post, the player tags 5 people and posts their names. Then the player goes to each of the “named” people’s blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. If you’ve been tagged, you do the same, letting the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer. They, in turn, answer the following questions.

Torture. Pure torture.

  1. What was I doing 10 years ago: I was planning a first birthday party for my oldest and working on conceiving my youngest. Ahhh, good times.
  2. What are 5 things on my to-do list today:
    • Run kids to camp, try to remember to pick them up
    • Leech free wireless from Honda dealer while they fix my car
    • Synchronize all clocks in house.. except mine
    • Shop online... oops, too late
    • Reply to this meme
  3. Snacks I enjoy: Fritos, Raspberry Zingers
  4. Places I've lived: Germany, North Carolina, Texas, New Mexico, California, Oregon, Washington, Louisiana, Indiana, Illinois.
  5. Things I would do if I were a billionaire: Buy all my degenerate poker playing friends a trip to Vegas to play in the World Series of Poker Main Event (and all the lap dances they could stand); laptops and internet for everyone, well everyone I like; build a pool for my neighborhood; have Brad Pitt's baby; date and then dump Viggo Mortensen; grow an ass like Kim Kardashian & buy boobs to match. I'm such a philanthropist.
Who should I pass this on to? Hmmmm


Don't hate me cause I love you! Ok go ahead and hate me cause I deserve it.

Well, there you have it. I'm all memed out now. Pry time for a Zinger, don't you think?

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

More Stupid System

If you haven't been over to Julius Goat's blog... well, why the eff not?

Srsly, he writes the funniest poker stuff on the web. No, really.

The latest chapter of Stupid/System can be found, in it's entirety, on Full Tilt's new Poker From The Rail.

Just be sure to read the rest of it at The_Goat_Speaks. While you are there check out the player profiles. He is clearly a master of reading people.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Tech Support

Not sure why but this reminded me of the Tech Support guy telling me to Restore my system. That will fix it. Uh huh, sure it will.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

The Website Is Down

Zerb posted a link to this on Twitter a while back and it was friggin hilarious. 

FRIGGING. HILARIOUS.  Every single time.

More Techno Drama

In my haste to get everything installed and configured to my taste I ignored the whole issue of the video capabilities of this machine.

It wasn't on purpose necessarily. The video was working more than satisfactorily while I installed the myriad of applications that I use regularly so I wasn't at all concerned.

After I was done, or nearly done (if it every REALLY done, I ask you?) I decided to turn on the SLi feature of this bad boy. Since I'm not a gamer I really didn't have anything to stress the video much less need 3D rendering. So, in short, there really was no way for me to know if it was working or not.

I did notice something a little suspicious though. I would open an application from the tray that monitored the network connections and, oddly enough, the window was blank. It really didn't set off any alarms in my head because it was a piece of software I was considering deleting anyway since I use the Windows built in networking software.

For whatever reason I decided to turn off the SLi (on and off each require a reboot, sigh) and just for amusement's sake opened up that program again and, OMG, it worked. Huh. Weird. Of course I repeat this just to make sure that my results are not an anomaly.

I'm pretty sure this warrants a call to Toshiba even if I fully intended to delete the software. After an hour or so on the phone with tech support I was told that I should try to uninstall that software and install a more current version and maybe update my video drivers.

Wow, that was a ton of time wasted.

I reinstall the program and still have the problem so next I head off to Nvidia to find drivers. I downloaded the latest driver and attempt to install it. I get an error to the effect that Nvidia can't find any driver compatible with my system. Bummer dude. Sigh.

I reactivate the SLi and uninstall the program that I didn't want anyway and just figure it's some problem specific to it and don't give it another thought. Until...

I fire up Spider Solitaire. Odd. Let me open Solitaire, too. Oh boy. How about FreeCell. Same result:

Ok, this definitely warrants another call to support. This time I'm told I should restore the system to it's original condition and see if the problem persists. Uh. No fucking way. I just spent 2 days configuring this bitch. Not happening. Next suggestion: take it to a Certified Repair facility an hour away from my house. Oh Fucking Joy. Yeah, I'll get right on that.


Google is my savior. I found a site that modifies the installer program for video drivers that does away with the "Nvidia can't find drivers compatible with your system" bullshit error and let's you install the latest driver.

After some messing around I finally get another driver installed and OMGWTF it works! AND I don't have to reboot to switch between SLi On and SLi Off. Whatever those guys at make it's not enough. Note to self: I think they take donations - get on that. They just saved me an ungodly amount of time and trouble. Srsly, I love these guys.

So this fairy tale has a happy ending. The slutty princess gets to live happily ever after with her new electronic toy. The End.


Check out these stats:

Friday, August 01, 2008

Techno Drama - One More Time

Those of you that have been reading here for a while might recall Techno Drama I, II, and III and just for good measure, More Drama, will be delighted to know that I have bought yet another new laptop.

I know, I know.  You're thinking, "Uh, WTF woman, didn't you just buy a new laptop?!?!?"

Well, um, yeah.  But...

But, the video sucks so hard that I really needed a new laptop.  No, really.


Ok, I sense that you don't believe me so I'll just go ahead and admit that somebody (not Zerb) got a new screaming laptop and, well, I had to have one, too.  There, I said it.  But don't tell him (not Zerb).

So here I am jonesing for a new laptop cause you-know-who has one when what do I spot on my favorite shopping site, Sam's Club Auctions, but this bad boyToshiba X205-SLi1.  A gaming laptop.  17" of uber badness.  I had no clue what it was but I was sure I wanted it.  Go ahead, say it.  I know you're thinking it. 

"Do you even know wtf this is?"

Hell no, but after looking around I decided that this was a screaming good deal at about $900 that I couldn't pass it up.  Considering that I have bought 3 laptops in the last 27 months and all three cost about $900 this one was by far the most bang for my buck.

Laptop 1
HP dv8210us
512mb RAM, upgraded to 1.5gb RAM
1-80gb hard drive, added another 80gb hard drive
Windows XP
Wireless b, bought 108 MIMO card
Video, uh, yeah it's got it

Died a premature death due to motherboard failure at about 18 months of age.

Laptop 2
HP dv9627cl
2mb RAM
1-120gb hard drive & 1-80gb hard drive
Windows Vista
Wireless b/g
Video, uh sucks ass

Videos sucks ass so bad my score actually went down after I upgraded video driver.  Doh.

Laptop 3
Toshiba X205-Sli1
2mg RAM
2-120gb hard drives
Windows Vista Ultimate
Wireless b/g/n
Video, 2 screaming 256mb video cards that somehow work together kinda like lesbian porn.
As I explained to somebody (not Zerb), even if I waited another year to buy a new laptop I would never be able to get one equipped this well at this price point.  I can't bring myself to pay $1200+ for a computer.  Silly I know.  Considering I paid $2400 for a Gateway x386 machine back in my college years. 

Was it worth it?  You tell me.

I've been busy installing all the software listed here, and then some.  It boggles my mind how good I've gotten at setting up a laptop to my satisfaction.  I'm not quite done yet but I have very little left to do.

Probably the most impressive feat so far is the sound matching the action when I'm playing online poker.  I'm not sure that has every happened for me since I started playing online.

I sure hope this bad boy lasts a long time.  Otherwise I just paid $900 for a 10 pound lap warmer.