Thursday, September 25, 2008


Pokerwolf: If you throw a 600 series, I'll give your your buy-in for this week's PS game.
Pokerwolf: <-- will need photographic proof, tho
Me: lol, says the man that doesn't know I carry a camera with me everywhere?
Me: at the rate I've been going the last few weeks I'll pry miss by 15 pins

You would think that would be enough motivation for me.  You would think...

Actually I started out pretty decent this morning with a 207.  Then I proceeded to bowl like crap.  Shot a 174 the second game making it pretty unlikely that I would be able to hit a 600 series. 

I really didn't matter much since I didn't bother to take a picture of the first game, when I actually had a shot at it.  After I threw the 174 I just told myself, "Why bother?"

Of course I throw a 237 the last game.  GG me.  I hit a 618 series!  Wooooooot!  Wait a second!?!? D'oh!  No pictures.  Our newspaper will publish a record of any woman who bowls a 600 series or better.  Not sure if Pokerwolf will accept that as "photographic" proof but I'm sure going to try to guilt him into it!

Ever since I bowl a 666 that first week my average has been going down since I can't possibly keep that up.  It's gone from 222 to 206 and down to 201 this week.  This is the first week I managed to bowl at least my average!  I doubt I bowled well enough to raise my average but I should be able to keep it above 200 for one more week!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Blazman and The Douche Bag

Posted on Twitter earlier today:

Blaz: got a concussion on Sunday playing hockey, I can't play hockey anymore, I need a new hobby. Any ideas? 

Me:  @blazman I'd say anything not poker or political should work for you. Pry Ho'ing. Just sayin.

A few minutes ago he hits me up on IM:

Blaz: you a funny gal
Me: again or still?
Blaz: hmm
Me: is this about the ho-ing?
Blaz: y
Me: he he he
Blaz: I'll give it a shot
Blaz: you recommend craigs list?
Me: better get your shots first
Blaz: gotta listen to the douche bag in 10 minutes
Me: which one?
Blaz: Bush
Me: ahh, yeah nm
Blaz: going to tell us why we need to spend more money than god has to pay off these fuck sticks
Me: right
Me: glwt
Me: while all the Republicans nod and say to themselves, "thank gawd I don't pay any taxes"
Blaz: lol

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


How cute is this?

I read about it here.

With a little bit of effort you can get quite a good result if I say so myself! Give it a try!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Bond, James Bond

Mmmm, mmmm, mm.  I do love me some Daniel Craig as James Bond, yes I do. 

Yep, I'll definitely be watching this one in the theater.  The last one I watched at home.  Multiple times.  Laptop, too.  Yes, more than once on laptop as well.  What? A girl can't like a good action flick? Silly boys, James is definitely for girls.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Cereal Murderer

Ok, not just cereal.  Chips, too.


If you ever read a police report that goes something like this I wouldn't expect to read any new posts here for a while... maybe a long while.  Just sayin.
Dateline Small Town, Midwest USA  The woman dubbed the Cereal Killer was arraigned today.  While the State Psychiatrist, Igo Manhead, was unable to determine whether or not Mrs. I Killed My Husband for Eating His Cereal Too Loudly is indeed clinically insane her defense team is expected to use the insanity defense.

Underpaid Public Defender, Green Peaceful, was quoted recently, "Clearly this poor woman could take it no longer.  I'm sure he deserved to die, but obviously death by spoon not the way I'd want to go.  Anybody who could do that to somebody has got to be insane, right?"

Mrs. Loudly was heard by the press in the courtroom mumbling, "Don't even get me started on the chips.  He's lucky I didn't sprinkle them with arensic."

The deceased's parents were baffled by the violent turn of events.  "She was such a nice girl and a good mother.  I blame the poker.  Things went downhill when she started meeting with all these internet people.  Damn poker players!" sobbed the elder Mrs. Loudly.  "She was always so helpful with my computer issues.  I really don't understand it.  We're such quiet eaters... I just don't know how this could happen," add Mr. Loudly.

Maybe a long, long time. 

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Presidential Election

I refuse to get sucked into all this political crap going on right now.  I know who I'm going to vote for and you obviously don't care or need to know.  So there.

Julius Goat, on the other hand, enjoys wallowing in the fray:

Since throwing my hat into the ring, I have received your support, some praise, and some jeers. It's been quite a ride. But there is one thing bothering me.

NO DONATIONS. Come on, people! These presidential bids don't fund themselves.

I've also been talking to many of you, and some of you have come to realize that I am a hopeless hippy-drippy with slush for brains who is almost certainly voting for B. Rock Obama.

None of you whom I have talked to have disagreed with me more often, or more hilariously, than Riggstad.

I made a lemur image for Riggstad. He's a good fella. And being able to disagree with one another without being disagreeable inspired both of us.

Why not debate?

So the ground rules are simple.

1) Each of us prepares five questions. The questioned party gives their considered answer. After this, the asker is allowed a rebuttal. Finally, the questioned party gives a final answer.

2) We must at all times try to be very partisan.

3) We must at all times try to be funny.

4) "Nuh-uh" and "Yuh-huh" are appropriate rebuttals. (Also acceptable: "Your mom.")

Obviously, this will be an ongoing series. Anybody taking us seriously will be arrested.

I'm a gentleman, so I let Riggs go first. Here we go.
Click through to read the rest of the story.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Grown Up Desk

I was going to call this One Girl, One Box but figured most of you wouldn't get it so I settled on Grown Up Desk.

That's before I realized that DranDead was right.  Virge has this same desk.  D'oh.  Considering that Virge is a degenerate professional poker player, I'm not sure that I can claim it to be a grown up desk.

This is what a degenerate gambler does with his desk:

This is what a stay at home mom and part-time degenerate gambler does with her desk:

I'm so proud of building it all buy myself!  This is what happens when you leave One Girl alone with One Box and some tools.

I do love my view from this desk.  I can spy on all my neighbors and the bratty kid up the street as he walks through my yard to his house after school everyday.  He realized I caught him doing it today.  Hee hee hee. 

I still need to clean up the dining room.  Now that I'm in the library I realize what a mess it is. I hate it when one project leads to many many more.  Some day I'll have this house in order from top to bottom and that's when we'll get transferred to Timbuktu.  You heard it here first.

When the Cat's Away

Well, um, duh.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Work Work Work

For free free free.

I'm one busy woman for somebody who doesn't get paid much.

I do get paid by the handyman but lately his work hasn't been very demanding which is a very good thing.  With school starting up I've been working mostly for free.  Yep. Free.

Organizing the Spirit Wear order, starting up the Scrip ordering (done every two weeks, sigh) and updating the Parents' Club Website are time consuming.  Not to mention entering over 150 email addresses into the newly created gmail account.  But it looks like most of the hard work is over.

As if that wasn't enough, I'm also the President of the Homeowners' Association for my neighborhood.  Coincidentally, the annual meeting and picnic is this weekend.  It's NOT AS IF I HAVE NOTHING ELSE GOING ON.  Who planned this anyway?  Hmmm?  D'oh.  Yeah, that stupid social secretary of mine really needs to be fired.

I did finally take a few minutes to write up an agenda for this weekend's meeting and fired it off to the rest of the board for input.  We're expecting over 150 people at this shindig.  I'm not sure if it's a good thing but Drunken Euchre is Saturday night.  I'm definitely going to need it.

I used to park my laptop and my ass at the kitchen counter until I did a hostile takeover of the formal dining room table since there was more room and it was rarely used.  I'm getting sick of seeing all this crap in my dining room so I've decided it was time to buy an actual desk.
We have a formal living room that is used as a library with a rolltop desk and several bookshelves stuffed with TOH's collection of Sci-Fi and the kids' books. The boys have gotten in the habit of leaving their sporting equipment and their musical instruments in there as well but that's going to come to a screeching (did I mention musical instruments?) halt after I get this bad boy built. It's time for mommy to have a big girl desk. Don't you think?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Blah Blah Blah

My mother arrived last Thursday evening and it's been go go go ever since.  She's in manic mode right after she gets here.  You would think we would have learned by now not to indulge her.  She never fails to wear herself out in those first few days then the rest of the trip is a disaster.

No different this time.  Shopped and shopped and shopped some more.  Then she gets a wild hair up her butt to build this dresser I bought for her room.  The next day she's complaining that she thinks she might have broken a rib BEFORE SHE LEFT HOME.  Uh, I don't think so.  There's no way she could have made it to the airport with her 50+ lb. luggage.  Just sayin.

Not long after her "I think I broke a rib comment" she's back upstairs building the matching nightstand.  Of course her complaint that 4 Tylenol and 2 Advil aren't doing a thing for her pain falls on semi-deaf ears.

Yesterday was Zooks97's birthday.  The plan was for all of us to go out to dinner to celebrate.  She'd been vegging on the couch all day but couldn't muster the energy to go out with us.  Bitch.  I swear.

Today is her birthday and she turned down a lunch with my very generous in-laws because she didn't feel up to it.  :rollseyes:  Tomorrow she leaves to visit my brother and his 2 month old daughter for 5 days.  That should be interesting.  I imagine the balance of her visit with us will consist of lying around the house too pooped to do anything.  Oh joy.

I thought about playing cash games at Fike's house last night but my stomach wasn't going for it.  On the way home from dinner I could tell I was going to commune with my toilet for most of the evening.  Yet more joy.

Based on the recommendation of Poker Girl in Vegas I downloaded and watched True Blood.  Nobody titillates like HBO.  Yummy, yummy, yummy.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Friday, September 05, 2008

Poker Ho

It's official.

I'm now a Poker Ho.

All this time I was just a PokerSlut.

But, now, today, I'm officially a Poker Ho.

Check it out.  Over there on the side bar.


That's right folks.  Somebody actually paid for placement on my blog.  Clearly he doesn't know who he's dealing with.  So, whatever you do, DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK.  Don't do it.  Don't go there.  It's a slippery slope.

Well, you can't say that I didn't warn you.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008


Still sucks ass.  Just ask Mac.  He'll tell you all about it.

Check out the lastest version.  It sucks ever better than before.

Thanks to (not) Zerb for the heads up on this!  Nice catch, sir.