Damn Wankers

Home game was last night and it was a record turnout: 19 players.  Wait, let me clarify.  There were 18 players and a Brit. 

Not your average Brit.  Nope.  This one was a young hawtie that was bought in by his American friend (another young hawtie) that likes to play poker.  The Young American (YA) is the son of a neighbor.  He has played in and won the local Legion's charity game in the past.  My game was just a stop over for them on the way to a bar, any bar would do, or so they said.

YA was a little miffed with the Brit took his first buy-in.  It didn't take long for us to figure out that the Brit was playing just about any two cards.  Problem was he was hitting big time with them. 

I played my usual nitty game.  I gave up limping in with suited connectors when I kept getting raised off pre-flop.  After I had spewed about 20% of my chips I just had to wait patiently for a hand.

In the mean time the Brit was tearing up our table.  TOH was cleaning out the other table for a while before he spewed some chips to a player that had just rebought.  It wasn't long after then end of the rebuy before TOH was out.

The short stacks started falling out fast after the rebuy period ended even though we extended it one level since we weren't even getting in an entire circuit in per level.  The Brit was calling all-ins with any two cards and hitting.  The worst part was when he would pick up a real hand.  No one was expecting him to actually HAVE A HAND!

The Brit took out the YA, again.  Mutterings of "Wanker" were repeatedly heard from then on.  YA was kind enough to deal for us but we were all starting to wonder how rigged this was when the Brit kept getting hands that hit hard.  The Brit once flopped a boat and got the other guy to ship in after a modest bet from the Brit.  Another time the Brit limped in and flopped the nut straight and got 2 other people to ship it in drawing nearly dead.  That's right he took out two players in one hand with 9To.

I managed a nice triple up with AQdd.  The short stack under the gun shipped it and I wasn't going to fold this hand since I was almost equally as short.  The Brit wasn't going anywhere either.  My AQ managed to outflop the short stack's Kx and the Brit's Jx.  Woooooooot!

Not long after my triple up I picked up AA.  I went ahead and raised 3X because I thought I had a better chance of getting called; I was pretty sure a shove wouldn't get me anything but the blinds.  I do get a call from the BB.  The flop comes out T high.  BB checks to me and I debate about shipping but just put out a reasonable bet.  The BB hems and haws and then ships it on me.  I insta-call, ldo.  He turns over a week T and I almost break him.  The BB was left with 400 chips (blinds at 400/800) and he managed a couple double ups to get back in the game but did eventually go out before the money.


I spewed almost all of my stack when I limp/called the Brit's raise with 77.  The flop came A baby baby and was checked around.  I bet the turn and the Brit called.  I checked the river and he bet enough to almost bust me but I just couldn't see how he could be good here.  Well, that's because I would have never put him on KK (the second time he had KK at this table).  D'oh. 

The BB hit me and took about half my chips.  I had 9To.  The Brit had limped in like he did most every other hand.  The flop came AJ9.  SB checked I shipped and the Brit called like he did almost every all-in that he was in on.  The SB also called.  At this point I pretty much new I needed another 9 or T to win this hand.  The turn came out and didn't help me.  The Brit goes all in and the SB tanks.  She eventually calls with nothing but a flush draw.  The Brit shows J6 for a turned two pair.  The river was a T but still not enough to save me.  I busted on the bubble because the SB had more chips than I did.  Damn Wanker!

Sigh.  I hate bubbling my own game.

In one hand we went from 5 players to 3: The Brit with a ginourmous stack, Jack and Scoot who were both short stacked in comparison.

I didn't witness Scoot's demise but I'm sure it wasn't pretty.

Jack doubled through The Brit just before the last hand - I think he turned a flush.  The final hand was epic.  The Brit flopped a flush while Jack hit a set.  All the chips went in on the turn and the river boated Jack!  The Brit was left with 1 1k chip and conceded defeat.  BTW, TOH doubled up Jack right after he had rebought earlier in the night!

This was truly an epic night for the Zooks home game.

I expect the next one to be just as epic:  Khanwoman is coming for a visit over Martin Luther King weekend.  Nuff said.  And, yes, all y'all are invited!

Wii!

TOH had decided years ago that we weren't buying one of those console game systems for our children.  No Sega.  No Xbox.  No hand held systems either.

We did indulge them in some of the retro style plug-in TV games a few years ago.  You know the ones: Pacman, Space Invaders, etc.  They played them but not very much. 

This is the first year that I tried to pull one over on my kids.  They are getting to the age where they don't really want toys anymore.  They play on online game that I've already purchased a significant amount of "Cash" so that wasn't an option. 

The Wii was a fascinating concept.  We knew lots of people that have them and swear they are the coolest game they've ever bought.  After seeing some of the games I was starting to change my mind about getting one for our family.  The challenge would be convincing TOH that we should get one.

Several months ago I floated the idea at TOH and was promptly shot down.  I gathered my courage up for another assualt.  This time I succeeded.  So I secretly began my acquisition of all the accoutrement de Wii. 

I scored a system bundled with 3 controllers & nunchuks as well as a couple of games.  Rock Band, Guitar Hero Aerosmith, Wii Beach Sports, Wii Music, Wii Fit, charging stations - I was nothing if not thorough. 

I picked up one last controller and nunchuck to max out at 4 - one for each member of the family and enough for the kids to have a free-for-all with their friends.  System completed in complete secrecy.  I even had most of this stuff sent to the inlaws house so no nosy boys would suspect anything.

Then, one night a few days before Xmas, the boys asked about some books I had ordered for them from Amazon.com.  I pull up my recent orders and we look for the needed information when I happen to scroll down just a tad too far and what comes into view but my final order for that last controller & nunchuk.  Pwned. 

Sigh.

Epic Fail. 

They were on to me. 

I still had a few surprises up my sleeve but the Main Feature was out of the bag. 

Less than an hour after unwrapping we were playing Mario Kart, and Wii Sports.  Mario Kart kicked my ass but I pwn Wii Fishing. 


My oldest was up at the crack of dawn setting up the Rock Band.  He even tried out MY WII FIT before I got a chance to inform him that he was not to play with my game!


Well, it's time to school them Zooks boys!  I need all the Mario Kart practice I can get...

Merry Christmas

From the Zooks family to yours!


glitter-graphics.com

Zooks97: But it doesn't have a Wii!

Zooks64: And neither do you! Bwahaahahahhaahah!

Wicked Chops Poker

I'm a big fan of Wicked Chops Poker.  They just know how to present poker in the best light.

Every now and then they find a story so compelling, so unique, so not related to poker that I'm left breastless, er, breathless.  This is one of those days.

Please be forewarned.  This is definitely not for the faint of heart.  Only the brave should press that play button.  And, if you're at work, well the risk is yours but this is clearly NSFW/H/K (not safe for work/home/kids) and probably not TOH (the other half).  Just sayin.


Link:

Marathon Poker & WBCOOP

I ended up 3/6 for the preliminary events of the WBCOOP (World Blogger blah blah blah of Poker).  I'm definitely not in sufficient shape to be playing that much poker in one week.

The first event, PLO, started Monday afternoon.  I played just nitty enough to make it into the "money" and earned my seat at the Final Event which freed me up to play like an idiot for the rest of them if I was so inclined.  I have to admit that I'm probably genetically incapable of playing lagtard poker.

I played Tuesday's event, NLHE, and made it deep enough to score a Step 2 token.  I'd never played the steps on PokerStars but Snuffy has played plenty of them.  That's when I formulated my plan: score as many seats to the Final Event that I could to prevent somebody else from getting that seat.

Wednesday's event, PLO8, didn't start until 9pm local time.  Now, I have to admit this isn't my strongest game.  For the most part I'm not a fan of the split pot games.  I wasn't convinced that I wanted to play this game but I was awake still so I went ahead and registered.  I sweet talked predator06, a friend of mine from Full Tilt Forum and a successful PLO8 player, into railing me while I played.  I managed to make it to the final table of this event!  When we were down to the final two tables I couldn't manage to scoop a pot no matter how far ahead I was.  It was so bad that another player commented in chat that I was only good for half a pot.  Finishing 9th scored me 2 $215 buy-in tickets!  Woooooooot!

I played the PLO8 for about 5 hours and I didn't make it into bed until after 2am.  I had to get up with the kids, make their lunches, and make my pot luck dish for the bowling banquet.  I get to bowling after a stop at Home Depot to pick up salt for the impending ice storm.  I bowled a 600 series, enjoyed the banquet and headed home before the storm hit later that day.  I made it home just in time to register for Thursday's NLHE WBCOOP event.  I was so incredibly tired and brain fried.  I played horribly and went out early.  I was back in bed within minutes after getting knocked out.

I played the next two events but didn't score a seat even though I finished within 30 or so spots of getting a seat.

Sunday rolled around and all I could think is, "WTF, srsly? I gotta play MORE poker?"  I don't think I've ever played this much poker in a week in a long, long, LONG time.  There were 432 seats available for the Final Event but only 369 seats were awarded - I guess I wasn't the only one that scored multiple seats!

Let's just say that the 368 other players were definitely not donkeys for the most part.  My table was unusually tight.  I played my regular nitty game.  I did manage a much needed double up with KK.  Other than that nothing much happened for me.  I went out with AK < TT all in pre-flop to finish about 130.  Prizes started at 100.

All in all this was a good week for me even though is was pretty rough going there for a couple days.  I pleased with how I played for the most part.

Now I just have to figure out what to play with my $215 tickets.  Unfortunately the aren't transferable and they are not $T that can be spent in any amount.  So look for me to be playing some high buy-in event that's totally out of my bankroll sometime in the future.

Wish you could have played this event?  Don't be a pussy!  Sign up for a blog at Blogger and start posting.  If I can do it anybody can!

Epic Mac Chat

I've been saving these up for some time now.  I know Mac has been on pins and needles waiting for me to post it cause, well, he's an attention ho, ldo.

Mac: and now that you have my address, I expect a christmas card
Zooks: lol, I had your address a while back
Mac: hmm
Zooks: and I'm sending all cards out by email from now on
Mac: ah
Mac: and i gave it to you?
Zooks: yeah LOL
Zooks: oddly enough
Mac: truly odd

Mac orders his new screaming laptop that he'd been showing me

Zooks: I'm giddy for you
Zooks: how sick is that?
Mac: yeah, that's pretty freaky
Zooks: eff you
Zooks: I can't help it
Zooks: I love techy shit
Mac: now I have your address
Zooks: yeah
Mac: be wary
Zooks: I expect flowers on our anniversary
Zooks: hahahahahhahahahah


Zooks: I'm trying to get my hair done to get outta here for appt
Zooks: sigh I hate running late
Mac: go the sinead o'connor route
Zooks: I've threatened something similar when I get tired of coloring my hair
Mac: although, girls with really short hair have always been bat shit crazy
Mac: except for that chick that was on northern exposure
Mac: she seemed stable
Zooks: yeah she was stunning I thought
Zooks: huge eyes
Zooks: and who says I'm not bat shit crazy?
Mac: I woulda boned her
Zooks: ldo
Mac: I'm not saying you aren't, but do you really want people to assume you are at first glance?
Zooks: nah, I wanna watch their eyes as the realization slowly hits them
Mac: definitely a better plan

Mac is waiting for UPS guy to deliver his new laptop

Zooks: 3pm where's that damn ups guy?
Mac: prolly having his way with my wife
Mac: "I have a package for you"
Zooks: hahahahahhahahah
Zooks: dude
Zooks: I'm telling her that

Mac: yeah, I got butt loads of appeal
Zooks: butt loads would be the appropriate term
Mac: did you end up playing the freeroll yesterday?
Mac: didn't see a post on it so I assumed you didnt
Zooks: I did and was horrible got knocked out early
Zooks: went to bed
Mac: what time did it start?
Mac: thought it was another early one
Zooks: it was
Zooks: that's why I sucked
Zooks: came home from bowling just in time to play
Zooks: and I was running on like 4 hours of sleep or less
Mac: shit, where is that violin I keep around for such occassions?
Zooks: hahahahah, ass

Ice

No, not jewelry.

Ice.

Storm.

Last night.

From Host

We've got at least a half inch of ice covering everything this morning.  And I mean everything.  The kids' school was cancelled.  Of course they were up at 6am checking to see if it was cancelled - even the one I usually have to drag out of bed.  They immediately got on the computers to play MapleStory.  Sigh.

The forecast is not giving me that warm fuzzy feeling.  I guess we better start salting the sidewalks and driveway or we may never get rid of this ice.

From ScreenshotA

Bowling Right

(Note: We are 2 blocks away from the beach.)

Customer: “Your lanes are crooked.”

Me: “Sir, I assure you they are not crooked; we have lane inspectors that come in every 8 weeks and check for that kind of thing.”

Customer: “No! MY LANE IS CROOKED! Every time I bowl, the ball goes to the right!”

Me: *glancing at the clock* “Well, you know, it’s about 1:30. The tide is coming in.”

Customer: “That has an effect on it?”

Me: “Oh yeah, I mean, we’re only a few blocks from the beach…”

Customer: “Huh… well, I guess I’ll try to bowl more towards the left, then…”

He should have told him to hold his beer in the other hand, ldo.

Stolen From (The Customer) Is Not Always Right.

3/3

Read all about it!

It's riveting. Would I lie to you?

Ok, how about: I might mention your name? Maybe. You have to click to find out, don't you?

Denied

Hello Gadzooks64,

Thank you for your email.

The email you received when qualifying for Tournament # 170000000 ('Blogger Championship - Final') is an automated one. There is no benefit in qualifying multiple times, and you are unable to save this ticket for a future event or transfer this ticket to a friend.

In a normal satellite or real money satellite the seat can be used for future events or transferred to a friend, but as this is a freeroll designed to give everyone a multiple amount of chances, even if you qualify for 'Blogger Championship - Final' several times it will not be of any value.

Thank you for your email and participation, and we wish you the best of luck for the 'Blogger Championship - Final' tournament.

Regards,

Amelie
PokerStars Support Team

WBCOOP

Entertaining offers:

Dear gadzooks64,

You finished the tournament in 42nd place.

This qualifies you for a seat in Tournament #170000000.
As you are already registered in this tournament, you can either use your extra seat for a future event,
or transfer it to another player of your choice.
Please contact support@PokerStars.com for assistance in your choice.



Congratulations!
Thank you for participating.

I had decided to play as many of these as I could to lockout seats from other players.  I had not considered that they would allow me to transfer a seat or use it for another event.  I sent an email requesting what other events my ticket is good for - who knows I may just keep it for myself. 

Nippy

Just a litte nippy here. 

Nothing to get alarmed about. 

Just you normal, everyday FREEZING OF YOUR ASS OFF!

What was I thinking when I agreed to move to the Midwest? 

Srsly? 

I must have been brain damaged.

From ScreenshotA

Which City?

American Cities That Best Fit You:

75% Austin 70% Denver 70% Honolulu 65% Portland 60% Atlanta

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Oh Tanenbaum

I love my tree.

No, really.  I do.

I saw this tree two years ago at Sam's Club - as if I shop anywhere else - and had to take it home!

All those lights.  I was dazzled.  It twinkles from white to colored and back ever so slowly.  It induces a zenlike state which I desperately needed this time of year.

I feel the same way about my impact sprinklers in the summer time.  The rest of the year I make do with alkeeehawl.  Just sayin.

Eulogy

To my nearly departed son...

I just wanted to let you know how much I love it when you crawl into bed with me in the morning and start mewling about how you don't feel good.

I love it when you refuse to take your medication every day.

I love it when you lie to me about brushing your teeth.

I love it when you sit at the kitchen counter refusing my gentle suggestions to get your butt in gear before time runs out and then turn into a whirling ball of fury because you only have nanoseconds left to get your shoes on, teeth brushed and book bag together before the bus arrives.

If I could hate you more I would.

Now, go back and read that again replacing Love with Hate and Hate with Love.

For now, my son, you will remain only nearly departed. For now...



Image by Cool Text: Logo and Button Generator - Create Your Own

SNGs

Random rambling poker post. 

Click here for in depth drivel.

Really, only tired rambling.  Nothing special.

Blog Maintenance

Dr. Chako reminded me today that I've been meaning to update my sidebar links for some time now.  I have all these blogs I read and enjoy on a regular basis yet most haven't found their way to my links.

I put very little effort into pimping out the places I read on a regular basis.  The poker blogging community is loaded with good people and I'm not doing my part.  So, I updated my link list but I'm sure there's more work to be done.  I haven't even gone through my reader list yet so I know I've left somebody out. 

Please don't be offended if you don't see your link.  I'm just one lazy mofo but I hope to have it updated soon.

If you don't see your blog there AND you never post - well, give it up.  I cleaned out the "deadwood" in favor of blogs that still have a pulse.

Graph Jam

I absolutely love this place. 

Every now and then they have one that is so spot on. 

Check this out and then add it to your reader!


more music charts

Calculation

All you engineers out there whip out your programmable HP calculators. 

I have a quiz for you.

TOH sent me this email the other day with the following problem:

Conditions:

A backhoe weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowboy trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas.

The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, re-enforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half?

(Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by the driver...)

Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above.

Yes, you can neglect friction.

 

I couldn't solve it either......but who cares;

The pictures are great!
 
The driver was on his cell phone.................. 

Every now and then TOH sends me something very entertaining.

Twitter

Twitter... Jake & Amir style!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

What Kind of Car?

I'm a Ferrari 360 Modena!

You've got it all.  Power, passion, precision, and style. You're sensuous, exotic, and temperamental.  Sure, you're expensive and high-maintenance, but you're worth it.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

WBCOOP

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!
The WBCOOP is an online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers.
Registration code: 059701

OMFG! STFU!!

Decisions, decisions...

 

These classics are brought to you by ThinkGeek.  Got check it out!

Hmmm... maybe I should just get them all?