Kids

I love my kids.... most days.

They are cute, smart, funny... I could go on and on.

One, however, has the annoying habit of going all Exorcist on me at the drop of a hat.

I am required to sign said Child's planner every evening. The Child is reponsible for writing his homework assignments in it and making sure they are done. I don't even bother to read it since IT IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO DO THE ASSIGNMENTS.

I repeatedly asked said Child if he had all his homework done yesterday.

He lied.

This a.m. said Child goes all Psycho Bitch Diva From Hell on me when he discovers that he did not do a homework page and it was 4 minutes until he had to be at the bus stop.

When I reminded the PBDFH that I asked him repeatedly the day before if he had done all of his homework he replied that he forgot about it and that it was MY job to remind him since I had to sign his planner.

Needless to say things went downhill from there.

Google Reader

A good friend of mine (who's name is not Zerbet, I swear) turned me onto Bloglines a while back. It's a RSS feed reader. It organizes all those things you go to on a regular basis into one place. Very convenient.

Well, said friend (again, not Zerbet) mentioned Google Reader a while back and I tried it out but at the time I prefered Blogines. Recently, he (nope, not Zerbet) told me that Google Reader just did an upgrade and I should try it again. Since many of the Blogspot blogs I read regularly don't have RSS feeds I thought I would give it a try.

Now, the basic Google Reader is quite nice. But what makes it AWESOME is a little NEXT button that is a toolbar add-on along with the SUBSCRIBE button. The NEXT button automatically takes you to the actual site for updated feeds, one at a time. Every time you hit the next button it's like a little slice of heaven. No more hitting blogs that haven't been updated in months. No more wasted time or effort.

However, the most charming thing is this:

This is what you get when you have run out of updates feeds. And, if you are adventurous enough to click the End of the Internet link this is what you will find:

You gotta love those programmers with a sense of humor!

Now go get Google Reader and be sure to add the subscribe and next buttons. You can thank me later.

Xmas Shopping

You know what I hate about Xmas shopping?

IT'S NEVER DONE!

Yes, you heard me. Even when you think you're done, YOU'RE NOT.

There's always one teacher/relative/friend/cousin you forgot.

The kids' cousins picked names from a hat for an Xmas gift exchange while they were here for Thanksgiving. Something I neglected to recall from years past.

Additionally, I neglected to get my inlaws anything. Sigh.

My MIL told me what she wants. Been there, got that.

I suggested a digital picture frame to my FIL a few days back and was poo-pooed. I just don't think he realized what I was talking about. The man takes a brazillian digital pictures every year and religiously gets each and every one made into a hard copy. I'm hoping that the digital picture frame I'm buying him for Xmas - YES I AM GETTING IT ANYWAY - will convince him to quit needlessly wasting precious trees. It won't but it's worth a try anyway. Besides, I would have absolutely no clue what to get the man other than a book or a shirt and he's got plenty of both.

P.S. Hubby is getting a digital picture frame, too, becuase I think they are cool.

Good News

I returned yet one more time to the store we bought our TV from and asked to speak to the manager.

After explaining for the nth time to the nth clerk that I wanted to get a price match for my now on sale TV, I finally got to speak to the Manager.

By "Manager" I mean 20-something employee with the "power" to give in to my demands.

I calmly explained that I showed up at the store at the pre-crack-of-dawn to get my price adjustment only to be told by the sign in the entry that no price adjustments would be done before noon.

I returned after noon only to be told that:

a) they were not price matching this ad

b) the only way to get the lower price was to buy one at the sale price and return it with the reciept from my original purchase

c) they were sold out of the TV

d) I could put in a special order for the TV but I would have pay for it now and hope that it came in before the 30 days return period for the first one expired.

After some discussion followed by a long period of silence he asked me for my phone number. Moments later he slid a reciept at me and said, "Sign here."

Let's just say I left much much happier and $540 richer than I was when I arrived.

I pwn Circuit City.

Shopping

Note to self: do not buy any high ticket electronics 10 days before Thanksgiving.

I talked the other half into getting a nice plasma TV as our Christmas gift to ourselves.

Since we are hosting Thanksgiving we decided to go ahead and buy it before the holiday so that the family could enjoy it while they were at our house.

Of course, it went on sale for two days the day after Thanksgiving. And, while this particular store has a 30 day price guarantee, they are refusing to honor that for Black Friday sales. Sigh. I'm going to have to order one and hope it comes in before my 30 return period it up and then "return" it using my original purchase receipt.

Bastards.

To top it all off, for whatever reason, the family watched our old TV while they were here.

I just don't get it.

He's an A$$hole

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Bowling Revisted

I missed Monday night bowling last week because I wasn't feeling well.

Last night, after we finished our warmup bowling I noticed the captain of my Wednesday night team (she's also on the women's association board) was on the approach and a voice came over the loudspeaker asking everyone to give their attention to her on lanes 31 and 32. The president of the ladies bowling association takes over the microphone to introduce Nancy and asks me to step out on the approach. Yep, it's that time. Presentation of my 299/752 awards. Woooooot! Even the men's association president was there to congratulate me.

I ordered a ring for my prize. Unfortunately somebody must have been living in a time warp because the inscribed date is off by a year - 2005. I'll mention it to Nancy on Wednesday night but I doubt there's anything that can be done. Still, very exciting to get my award.

Speaking of honor games: two of the bowlers on my team, Jimmy and Trey, have bowled 300 games this season - not on Monday night, which is something I need to ride them about. Sammy did bowl a very nice 800 series for us a few weeks ago.

Now on to last night's bowling.

We've been changing our lineup around from week to week. We couldn't really settle on a lineup that we like. For whatever reason, Jimmy and I both seemed to bowl better when we bowled after Trey. But this week we didn't bother changing it and I was bowling after Jimmy and Trey was after me.

My first game was a less than stellar 165. I wasn't carrying and kept missing some easy spares.

The second game started off nicely. Between visiting with the guys and just goofing off we were bowling decent. I kept looking at the scoreboard and thinking that Jimmy was bowling really well while I was holding my own and had a decent chance of beating my average.

It wasn't until I was bowling my second or third ball in the 10th frame that I realized I HAD BEEN THINKING MY SCORING LINE WAS JIMMY'S FOR THE WHOLE GAME! It's easy to see why I would think that since Jimmy is such a good bowler and I'm not nearly as consistent as he is.

I had one spare in the second frame and all the rest were strikes. The tenth frame went XX9. It wasn't until after the first strike, maybe even the second of the 10th frame that I realized what I had been thinking! OMG, I am an idiot.

Before I threw the last ball, I told them all what I'd been thinking the whole game. We got a really good laugh at that.

Jimmy was bowling a good game and ended up with a 236. I ended up bowling a 267.

I was back to struggling for the 3rd game, finished with a 175. Just missed a 600 for the night with a 596. At least I managed to make my average overall.

It was nice to hang out with the guys again. I do miss them when I don't bowl.

Pokerslut Tour

Luck>>Skill

Click for a larger view

Stumbled... Again

Ok, i snorted.... multiple times.

Fun with Telemarketers

Another priceless Stumble find.

The Ultimate Revenge On A Telemarketer
Uploaded by SaveManny

Monday Madness

There's nothing like getting up on Monday with the best of intentions. I have shopping to do, errands to run, etc.

After running through my normal morning routine: warm beverage, email, bloglines, etc., I suddenly don't feel so hot. A nap is starting to look really good.

A few minutes after landing back in bed I'm overwhelmed by that not so welcome urge to run for the nearest bathroom. Rinse repeat.

Something tells me this won't be a very productive day.

Chat

gadzooks1995: Man, where is everybody on Friday?
gadzooks1995: It's so boring around here
gadzooks1995: started reading the Navarro tell book... not very far in
Zerbet: mere moments from posting
gadzooks1995: I await your golden words o wisdom? humor? snark?
Zerbet: slutage
gadzooks1995: oooooh
gadzooks1995: the best stuff evah!
gadzooks1995: linkage?
Zerbet: http://pokersluts.blogspot.com/
Zerbet: :)
gadzooks1995: ahhh the guest poster
Zerbet: you misspelled poser
gadzooks1995: poseur?
Zerbet: indeed
gadzooks1995: you left me out
gadzooks1995: aren't I in the running as well?
Zerbet: in theory
Zerbet: you first me seventh or worse
Zerbet: you second me eighth or worse
Zerbet: etc.
Zerbet: ran out of haiky
Zerbet: or ku
gadzooks1995: lol
Zerbet: as the case may be
gadzooks1995: haikucky?
gadzooks1995: oooh I love T's sharkscope post
Zerbet: mkay edited
Zerbet:

But What Of Gadzooks?
A Double Leap Frog is Hard
Stud Hi/Lo, who knows!

gadzooks1995: lol
gadzooks1995: I'm just hoping you two donk
gadzooks1995: that's my strategy
Zerbet: glwt
Zerbet: me, sure; her, pry not
Zerbet: beotch that she is
gadzooks1995: so there's hope?
Zerbet: :)
Zerbet: glimmer
Zerbet: faint
Zerbet: pre pre pre dawn
gadzooks1995: lol
gadzooks1995: so you're saying there's hope!
Zerbet: I love that movie
Zerbet: NOT
gadzooks1995: which movie?
Zerbet: seriously?
gadzooks1995: seriously
gadzooks1995: I may have seen it but I'm certainly not quoting it
Zerbet: hang on a sec
Zerbet: crap IMBD doesnt have it
Zerbet:

Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.

gadzooks1995: Somethign about Mary?
Zerbet: dumb and dumber
Zerbet: but good guess
gadzooks1995: oh
gadzooks1995: same genre . . . stupid movies
Zerbet: zackery
gadzooks1995: BTW, I think I'ma use part of this chat as my next blog post if you don't mind
Zerbet: whatever cranks your pump handle, maam
gadzooks1995: lol, cheap postage... I'll take it every time

Bus Stop

When we first bought this lovely corner lot in this small new neighborhood that is loaded with kids it never occurred to me that corner lots make the best.... bus stops.

My kids were delighted when they found out the bus would be picking them up at the end of our driveway. Me, well I thought it was a good thing since they were still pretty young and I could keep and eye on them.

That was before I realized that they and the other bus stop kids were going to play with every toy in the garage and leave them scattered on the floor and driveway when the call of "Buuuuuu u u uuuuus!" went out. My driveway became the before school playground.

And what happens on the playground I ask you?

Drama.

Yep, drama. There, I said it.

Since we live at the bus stop my two gene pools decided that they should always be first in line. It was always whoever got there first with their backpack was first. So my oldest was always out there dumping his pack to hold his spot. There wasn't too much drama about that until the youngest decided that wasn't fair. So I told them to take turns.

It didn't occur to me, at the time, that they were treating this as a birthright until one day another parent explained to me that my child, yes MY CHILD, was telling everybody that it was HIS day to be first even though SOMEBODY else beat him to the bus stop. WTF?!?!? AND, he had the nerve to tell the other kids that he and his brother were to take turns being first!!! OMG! I am an idiot.

I assured this parent that the caveat was that they had to be the first out there. She assured me that she never doubted for a minute that that was what I had intended. Her son had suggested that they line up youngest to oldest and rotate positions getting one person closer to first each day then going to the back of the line. BRILLIANT I said. Drama resolved.

After two years of my driveway being the bus stop something odd happened this year.... the.bus.stop.was.moved.across.the.street. Cue the heavenly choir for a rousing rendition of the Halleluiah Chorus.

Finally, Peace on Earth, at least the little part called my driveway.

Laundry Day

Yeah, it's that day. They day we all live for.

Those single people know it as, "I don't have anymore clean underwear day," or "Everything I own has been worn at least once and looks like it day."

For married people it means, "my spouse is going to embarrass me tonight if I he/she has nothing clean to wear at dinner with our friends."

For people with kids it's more like, "the teachers at school are going to wonder if we had to go on food stamps because the kids look like street urchins that have worn the same clothes everyday for the last week."

Welcome to Marathon Laundry Day.

Errrr, soo o o o o not me!
(photo homage to El Hrbek)

The day when you make 10 loads of laundry into 6 by cramming the machine full to the rim.

Oh, yeah, that's more like it.

Unfortunately, my marathon Laundry Day coincides with "Stand In Line For Hours To Vote Day."

Oh joy.

Looks like the other half will be on duty after work today so I can go vote.

P.S. Note to self: Laundry room HORRIBLE place to keep kids' stash of Halloween Candy.

Shower Heads

One of life's little pleasures is taking a shower.

We are spoiled.

Used to be everybody took a bath. If they bathed at all.

Everybody has those things that they are unusually picky about, for me, it is showerheads.

When we were living in our last house I lucked out and found a Speakman showerhead on closeout at Lowe's. At the time I was clueless about the brand. I've since learned that all the higher end hotel chains use them. I fell in love with that showerhead. I even planned on taking it down when we sold that house but for some reason [I'm old and forgetful] I couldn't find the original equipment showerhead and ended up leaving that one behind.

Fast forward to new house. The original Delta shower heads that we ended up with had a lot of potential. Unfortunately my guilty conscience wouldn't let me take out the flow restrictors so we lived with the less than dazzling spray intensity.

After a while I decided to try one of the rainfall heads that I bought for the guest bath.

Unfortunately, rainfall = no pressure but lots of water. I prefer a strong pelting.

Pretty much everytime I go to the local home improvement center I peruse the bath aisle for any new and exciting finds. I ran across this nice looking showerhead and couldn't resist the urge to give it a whirl.

I give it a A for looks, an A for coverage but only a B for intensity.

Our master shower has two showerheads. Yeah, I know, I'm spoiled.

My husband doesn't share my enthusiasm for showerheads so I never bothered to buy him a new one.

The other day I was watching the stream from his and it was nothing less than anemic. This time I decided I would break down and buy another Speakman - why I hadn't before is beyond me since the last actually cost more than the Speakman.

I made the other half install it - I usually do all that kind of stuff. I asked how the installation went and he mumbled about not being able to get something out of the arm. Now that got my attention. I unscrewed the head and there was some funky plastic thing stuck in the arm that resembled a blue whale's plankton screen, ie, the funkiest flow restrictor I'd ever seen. I pried that thing out of there so fast. The improvement was nothing short of miraculous.

I swear, I dunno how he tolerated his old shower head. You couldn't even get the shampoo out of your hair with that pressure. I consider flow restrictors as a necessary evil but two is just waaaaay too many (the head has one built-in).

So, trust me, go to your favorite home center and pick up one of these bad boys. The first thing you'll notice is that it's 5 times as heavy as those cheap ones. Gotta have a sturdy housing to get any kind of pressure - if you recall your Fluid Dynamics from college. The $40 is worth it every morning when you get in the shower. I probably don't need to tell you we now have two!

Plagiarism II

OK, I've got a list of blogs a mile long that I read.

Occassionally I come across some real gems that I'm compelled to steal and put on my blog.

You people must spend hours and hours goofing off on YouTube and Google Videos.

But, at least you are saving me from hour and hours of goofing off.... oh wait.




Oh great, now look what you've done and done... sigh, I foresee hours and hours wasted at Google Video.