Poker

I've rekindled my romance with poker.

Oh, I know all of you players have gone through it. You play and play and you win or lose but you keep playing day after day month after month. And then it happens. You wake up one day and you're indifferent to it. Yeah it still feels nice to win a pot but you don't get that same rush you felt when the romance was new.

I've felt that way for a while now.

I've been playing mostly tournaments with a few sngs thrown in when enticed by friends to play.

But something was missing.

I've told people before that they needed to try new games, new levels, etc., to get over the boredom. I found myself on a losing streak that was pretty frustrating but I also knew that I needed a break from what I had been doing.

I started playing limit hold em again. The best part was that I liked it. Yeah you get sucked out on. And yeah, it's sometimes hard to bluff - but it can be done.

One thing I've not done much of is playing short handed. I just felt more comfortable playing a full table. I found the 1/2 6 handed Limit Hold Em tables at Poker Host.

I think I'm in L-O-V-E.

Check out these stats from tonight:

After just a few short sessions and a total of 140 hands I'm up about $80.

I'll definitely be playing those for a while.

Funny how little change of scenery can really make a difference, isn't it?

Ante Up! and CardClubs.net

Many moons ago a friend (not Zerb) turned me on to podcasts. Poker podcasts to be more specific. He (again, not Zerb) hooked me up with the free ones from iTunes and life has never been the same.

The whole family went on an extended road trip last April and I burned hours (12) of the Ante Up! podcast to listen to on the way. Even the other half found them amusing. I've been a regular listener ever since.

Ante Up! has a forum at the Card Clubs Network. It's worth checking out. They even have a nice playchip poker table populated by two (horrible) bots when there is no one else to play with. Someone (nope, not Zerb) has a brazillian playchips won (stolen) from those unsuspecting bots.

Merry Christmas!

From the Zooks family to yours!

Do I Dare?

Do I dare brave the world of Christmas Eve shoppers?

I think I do.

I'm finally feeling human enough to go out today. I got some of my best deals ever on Christmas Eve two years ago. I'm thinking about hitting Sam's Club and maybe a few other stores.

Heck, I'm not even sure my car will start. Last time it was out of the garage was last Wednesday when I drove ALL THE WAY TO THE KIDS' SCHOOL (about 1 mile) AND BACK!

The Great Procrastinator

Ok, so yesterday didn't go quite the way I planned.

Let's just say the mind was willing but the body wasn't.

So I'm doing laundry today and just doing my best to not go postal one particularly annoying young man.

I did play some more poker with the youngens. One has a particularly bad habit of going all the way with nothing while the other one loves to bluff.

Here's one hand that illustrates my point:

Seat 1: Gadzooks64 (~60)
Seat 2: Zooks99 (~60)
Seat 3: Zooks97 (~20)
Zooks99 posts the small blind of $1
Gadzooks64 posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [4s 6s]
Zooks97 raises to 4
Zooks99 calls 4
gadzooks64 calls 2 99 is the maniac that will raise with anything
*** FLOP *** [Jc 6h 4d] Bingo
Zook97 Bets 2
Gadzooks64 Raises to 4
Zooks99 called 4
Zook97 called 2
*** TURN *** [Jc 6h 4d] [4c]
Zooks97 bets 4
Gadzooks64 raises to 8 I got it and I'm not going to slow play
Zooks99 raises to 12
Zooks97 calls 8
Gadzooks64 raises to 16
Zooks99 calls 4
Zooks97 calls 4
*** RIVER *** [Jc 6h 4d 4c] [Jd]
Zooks97 bets 1 and is all in
gadzooks64 calls 1 I was hoping to split pot with 99, sigh
Zooks99 calls 1
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Zooks97 [Ad 3d] (two pair, Jacks and Fours)
gadzooks64 [4s 6s] (full house, Fours full of Jacks)
Zooks99 [8c 4h] (full house, Fours full of Jacks)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 75
Board:[Jc 6h 4d 4c Jd]
Seat 1: gadzooks64 showed [4s 6s] and won (38)
Seat 2: Zooks99 showed [4 8] and won (37)
Seat 4: Zooks97 (small blind) showed [Ad 3d]

Illness or Vacation

Ever notice how messed up your schedule gets when you get sick or go on vacation?

Either way you're screwed. There's a mountain of stuff that accumulates while you are suffering and/or relaxing.

I'm starting to feel semi-human again. I woke up around 8:00 this morning after having been rudely awakened at 2:00 by a coughing fit that would not end.

I didn't get to bed until late because I was once again conned into playing the Thursday Night Full Tilt Razz Freeroll. Ever notice how the people that talk you into these things donk out early and GO TO BED leaving you to wonder why the hell you played this thing? I donked out around 145th/1800. GG me.

So today my agenda looks like this: laundry, laundry, laundry, more laundry, and, oh yeah laundry. This will surely be broken up by the random beating of a child and/or coughing fit.

Wish me luck.

Poker with No. 2 Son

My youngest talked me into playing some HU with him after we finished watching an episode of PPT.

We usually play limit with the kids just to make it easy. He took an early lead when I couldn't hit a board to save my life. I made a comeback when I rivered a flush and then a straight against him.

I finally decided, after he was gloating a little too much about bluffing me, to start calling down when I hit even just bottom pair. He paid me off on several hands.

After much drama I convinced him to either buck up or I would be done playing.

We played a couple more hands and he was ready to quit. I had him about 2:1 in chips.

We have a tradition of everybody "going all in" on the last hand and whoever wins that pot "wins".

He was dealt K9o and I got J2o.

Flop 99x x 9

The boy put professional footballers and their endzone dances to shame.

Sigh. I better get a "thanks mom" when he makes his first televised final table.

Germs, germs everywhere

I've become resigned to my kids bringing home all sorts of germs from school.

What I hate is when they are laid low for maybe 24 hours while I find myself in a funk for a week or more.

I finally broke down and went to the doctor a couple of days ago when it became apparent that I was going to need drugs to get over this bug that had settled in my sinuses. I picked up my drugs and headed back home to park myself on the couch and pretend to be alive.

The next day was the kids' last day of school. I was responsible for providing the snacks for their room parties. I had to scramble to get the snacks, teacher gifts and staff gifts together and to the school in time. Thankfully my presence in the classroom was necessary.

Then the other half comes home from work yesterday complaining that he must have caught what I have. He woke with a fever. After sleeping in he headed off to Urgent Care where he was told it was a virus that's been running around this area since September. So off to work he goes... to spread the joy around before his staff go off on the holiday break. I sure hope he doesn't infect anyone.

America Gets Screwed

Bad Poker Day

It's days like these that make me hate poker.

AA loses to QTd

KK loses to A7o

KK loses to AJo when he makes a runner runner J high straight during the famous All In Or Fold tournament.

AA goes down to J3 on the AIOF afterparty table - damn you Steeler!

Then this hand happened. All in on flop.

Homage to Hrbek

Which one is he? Your guess is as good as mine.

Personality Test

Dictator- ENTJ

86% Extraversion, 60% Intuition, 63% Thinking, 80% Judging

Have you no soul? It's clear you have no heart and that your blood runs cold, but really, do you have even one redeeming factor?

Sure. You're a natural born leader. So was Hitler. You just don't like people, do you?

You don't play games. You take charge. And there's very little room for mistakes in your world. You're forceful, intimidating and overbearing.

Heard of the word "patience?" Trust me, it's a word and it's something you're sorely lacking. Believe it or not, you're not always right. Learn to have some patience for those who think differently from you, knobflap.

From the way people's knees knock when they see you, you should have realized by now that you're not exactly a "people-person." You're more of a "people-eater." You just ain't tuned into people's feelings and probably couldn't care less whether you were anyway. Maybe you're not from this planet but the rest of us are.

Sure, you're intelligent. So what? You have some semblance of power. Big deal.

At least people LIKE the rest of us.

*****
I'm a bitch!?!??! Who knew?

Take the test here: Brutally Honest Personality Test

$180

That's right, $180

$180 for about 3 hours of "work".

If you can call playing poker "work".

About 6 months ago I started seeing my chiropractor, Dr. Keith. After a while we found out that we both like to play poker. I invited him to my home game and told him I would love to play in his sometime. He came to my game but wasn't able to stay for very long. Last night was my first time at his home.

Of course I was the only woman there but they seemed to be okay with it. We ended up with 16 players. The buyin was $20 with a $20 rebuy before then end of the 4th level - luckily I didn't have to rebuy.

I wasn't sure what to expect so I tried to just play my normal game and get a feel for the other players. The first hand I played was 55 UTG + 2. Flop was horrible for me and I ended up folding.

The next hand of note was between two other players. One had flopped a set the other ended up with a flush draw. The 9s made full on the turn when the flush hit but paired the board and then the case 9 hits on the river for quad 9s!

Not long after that Dr. Keith hit quad As on the other table.

I raised with AT on the button and get called by BB and UTG limper. Flop comes out JJ5. I put in a continuation bet. UTG mucks out of turn while BB thinks a long time then mucks.

The table is very passive. I get AK in the SB with 3 limpers ahead of me. I know a raise isn't going to get me anywhere and I'll be out of position so I just complete and the BB checks. Flop: K8x. I'm trying to decide how to play and figure my best bet is to push. I don't want to fight 4 other people for this pot. I get called by UTG SS with 8x and MP big stack with AJ. The MP player said he thought I was bluffing! My hand holds and I more than double up.

I get AA UTG and raise, get no callers.

I call a SS's all in with AJ and he doubles through me with AQ.

We are down to the final table. The blinds are 500/1000 with around 45K in chips on the table. Several players have only a couple BB in front of them. I have around 9K.

I push with AQ and get called by Dr. Keith on a SS with A4 and take him out.

I pick up JJ UTG and push again. The BB is concerned and asks me if I have Ks. I just shrug. He calls with AQ no help for him; I river a set of Js.

We get down to 4, I'm in the money! I don't recall anything interesting happening but two of the four go out and now I'm HU with a very passive player (he didn't bet trip Qs on a somewhat scary board when he was HU with a SS). He has me barely covered.

I push with AQ and he calls with Ax and I get him down to 3.5BB. He goes all in next hand and I call. I have him dominated but he hits a pair on flop and rivers trips.

Again we get it all in, I'm ahead and he hits a wheel on me.

A few hands later I put him all in with Ks8s and he calls with 4s6s. Neither of us improve and I take it down.

Wooooooot!

One of the other players owns a bar/restaurant in a small town a few miles away. He told me that his place is having a $50 tournament on Super Bowl Sunday and invited me to come play. I had to tell him that my birthday is Super Bowl Sunday and while there's nothing I would love to do more than play a poker tournament that day, my family may have other plans and I would need to ask the other half. They all laughed and said, ASK?! You just won $180!

I hope they let me come back and play again. It was a great time. I really don't get to play as much live poker as I would like. Online is one thing but live is definitely something you need to practice to get good at.

Bad BAD Bowler

Ok, so last night didn't go so well bowling wise. I had missed the previous week because the roads were bad and I was a pussy.

We bowled the 2nd place team last night. Good thing we were 5 games ahead of them and the rest of my team showed up to bowl and not chit chat like someone on the team.

I'd like to blame Motorola and poker for my poor bowling.

I'd like to, but I probably can't.

I have a Motorola V3m Razr phone. Jimmy just got one and Mandy, Trey's girlfriend, has one. So we spent a good part of the night talking about microSD memory cards, unlocking the phone, flashing new software, playing MP3s, taking video, alert settings, skins, etc. Very informative and fun. Not exactly the kind of stuff that makes you concentrate on your (horrible) bowling.

The first game I barely broke 100. Sigh. Steve, however, bowled quite well and managed to draw a straight flush. We play poker with 2 decks as otherwise there's not enough cards in the deck without reshuffling the cards. That's when the question came up about whether or not 5 of a kind beats a straight flush when you use two decks.

Straight flush v. 5 of a kind. What a dilema. So I whipped out the old phone - YES, THE PHONE, and put it in calculator mode. I had seen a lady at the kids bowling tournament this weekend using her Razr to add up scores. My last phone's calculator function SUCKED but this one looked very nice. After some searching I found the power function - a must have for probability problems. I guess it's too much to ask for it to have a factorial function - if only HP made cell phones for geeks.

So after a couple false starts I figured out how I wanted to do it. There was a little struggle with an out of range error on the calculator but I figured it out.

Short answer: straight flush beats 5 of a kind.

As you can tell, bowling was a HIGH priority for me last night... and it showed in my score. Easily my worst night of bowling in a long time. I had a great time goofing off with the guys. And, luckily, they actually managed to bowl well enough for us to win 3 games.

Next week we bowl the 3rd place team. Might be a good time for me to leave the phone at home and actually bowl, ya think?

Awesome [poker] table

OK, this table pwns.

I want one... when I win the lottery or the WSOP ME.



Other Half (Ph.D Mech Eng): Wow, not only is it a work of art it is an engineering marvel.

What to do on cold winter days?

Ok, I don't remember having too many frigid winter days when I was young but that may be a product of selective memory or growing up mostly in the desert southwest.

I'm pretty sure we just sat in front of the tube, did puzzles, played games, or read books.

This is what my children do.

It's called the Great Wall of Zooks. He he he. My kids are the bestest.

Gratuitous stylish photos taken by my Ansel Adams in training, semi-genius, totally cute kids.


Oh yeah, one just abandoned his masterpiece to play on the computer while the other is making himself annoying by hanging over my shoulder and playing editor as I compose my entry. Sigh.

Road Rage

Ok, so lately I've been wishing I had one of these:


Instead of one of these:


Especially when our roads are like this:

Ok, so I'm exaggerating, but only slightly.

GG winter. I stay home now.

Done!!!!!!

That's right, you heard me.

I'm done.

D.O.N.E.

I wrapped all the presents.

I bought the last two today - heaven forbid I forget the classroom gift exchange! (yeah, I forgot all about it, sigh, getting old sucks.)

So I fired up the sweet new DVD player with HDMI upconversion and Divx compatability. Loaded up History of Violence. I have a long and well documented "thing" for Viggo Mortensen. Sigh...

I gathered all the stuff: wrapping paper, scissors, tape, labels. I parked my butt in front of the tv and wrapped. I feel sorry for the other half if I have forgotten anybody or anything CAUSE I'M DONE.

Yep. D - O - N - E.

Unless Viggo calls and tells me to bring my old cheerleading outfit.

Uh, WTF was he thinking?

Full Tilt Poker Game #1354580621: Table Soft Breezes - $0.50/$1 - Limit Hold'em - 21:50:41 ET - 2006/12/04
Seat 1: Coffy5 ($10.15)
Seat 3: bsd72 ($19.90)
Seat 4: CROSSandCROWN ($10), is sitting out
Seat 5: CardDivine ($32.85)
Seat 6: countagain ($9.35)
Seat 8: gadzooks64 ($25)
Seat 9: buck712 ($28.45)
Coffy5 posts the small blind of $0.25
bsd72 posts the big blind of $0.50
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [Qh Qs]
CardDivine calls $0.50
countagain calls $0.50
gadzooks64 raises to $1
Coffy5 folds
bsd72 folds
CardDivine calls $0.50
countagain calls $0.50
*** FLOP *** [8d 3c Th]
CardDivine checks
countagain bets $0.50
gadzooks64 raises to $1
CardDivine folds
countagain raises to $1.50
gadzooks64 calls $0.50
*** TURN *** [8d 3c Th] [7c]
countagain bets $1
gadzooks64 calls $1
*** RIVER *** [8d 3c Th 7c] [9s]
countagain bets $1
gadzooks64 calls $1
*** SHOW DOWN ***
countagain shows [6d 8h] (a straight, Ten high)
gadzooks64 mucks
countagain wins the pot ($10.25) with a straight, Ten high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $10.75 | Rake $0.50
Board: [8d 3c Th 7c 9s]
Seat 1: Coffy5 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: bsd72 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: CROSSandCROWN is sitting out
Seat 5: CardDivine folded on the Flop
Seat 6: countagain showed [6d 8h] and won ($10.25) with a straight, Ten high
Seat 8: gadzooks64 (button) mucked [Qh Qs] - a pair of Queens
Seat 9: buck712 is sitting out

Internet Help Desk

Another Stumble find.

URL change

OK, as many of you know I have two screennames that I use: gadzooks64 and pokerslut64. It looks like the prudes have taken over the planet and I'm going to have to give up on using pokerslut64.

I have changed the URL for this blog to www.gadzooks64.blogspot.com to reflect this. Sorry if it causes you any problems.

Update your bloglines or google reader and it will only be a temporary blip on the radar.

Thanks,

Gadzooks64

Snow Day

It looks like the whole midwest is having a snow day today.

Considering that it was near 70° just two days ago this is a bit of a shock.

My poor patio furniture

Ooops, looks like somebody (not me, er sorta) forgot to put grill cover on.

I don't think the neighbor kids are going to be swinging anytime soon.

Kids

I love my kids.... most days.

They are cute, smart, funny... I could go on and on.

One, however, has the annoying habit of going all Exorcist on me at the drop of a hat.

I am required to sign said Child's planner every evening. The Child is reponsible for writing his homework assignments in it and making sure they are done. I don't even bother to read it since IT IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO DO THE ASSIGNMENTS.

I repeatedly asked said Child if he had all his homework done yesterday.

He lied.

This a.m. said Child goes all Psycho Bitch Diva From Hell on me when he discovers that he did not do a homework page and it was 4 minutes until he had to be at the bus stop.

When I reminded the PBDFH that I asked him repeatedly the day before if he had done all of his homework he replied that he forgot about it and that it was MY job to remind him since I had to sign his planner.

Needless to say things went downhill from there.

Google Reader

A good friend of mine (who's name is not Zerbet, I swear) turned me onto Bloglines a while back. It's a RSS feed reader. It organizes all those things you go to on a regular basis into one place. Very convenient.

Well, said friend (again, not Zerbet) mentioned Google Reader a while back and I tried it out but at the time I prefered Blogines. Recently, he (nope, not Zerbet) told me that Google Reader just did an upgrade and I should try it again. Since many of the Blogspot blogs I read regularly don't have RSS feeds I thought I would give it a try.

Now, the basic Google Reader is quite nice. But what makes it AWESOME is a little NEXT button that is a toolbar add-on along with the SUBSCRIBE button. The NEXT button automatically takes you to the actual site for updated feeds, one at a time. Every time you hit the next button it's like a little slice of heaven. No more hitting blogs that haven't been updated in months. No more wasted time or effort.

However, the most charming thing is this:

This is what you get when you have run out of updates feeds. And, if you are adventurous enough to click the End of the Internet link this is what you will find:

You gotta love those programmers with a sense of humor!

Now go get Google Reader and be sure to add the subscribe and next buttons. You can thank me later.

Xmas Shopping

You know what I hate about Xmas shopping?

IT'S NEVER DONE!

Yes, you heard me. Even when you think you're done, YOU'RE NOT.

There's always one teacher/relative/friend/cousin you forgot.

The kids' cousins picked names from a hat for an Xmas gift exchange while they were here for Thanksgiving. Something I neglected to recall from years past.

Additionally, I neglected to get my inlaws anything. Sigh.

My MIL told me what she wants. Been there, got that.

I suggested a digital picture frame to my FIL a few days back and was poo-pooed. I just don't think he realized what I was talking about. The man takes a brazillian digital pictures every year and religiously gets each and every one made into a hard copy. I'm hoping that the digital picture frame I'm buying him for Xmas - YES I AM GETTING IT ANYWAY - will convince him to quit needlessly wasting precious trees. It won't but it's worth a try anyway. Besides, I would have absolutely no clue what to get the man other than a book or a shirt and he's got plenty of both.

P.S. Hubby is getting a digital picture frame, too, becuase I think they are cool.

Good News

I returned yet one more time to the store we bought our TV from and asked to speak to the manager.

After explaining for the nth time to the nth clerk that I wanted to get a price match for my now on sale TV, I finally got to speak to the Manager.

By "Manager" I mean 20-something employee with the "power" to give in to my demands.

I calmly explained that I showed up at the store at the pre-crack-of-dawn to get my price adjustment only to be told by the sign in the entry that no price adjustments would be done before noon.

I returned after noon only to be told that:

a) they were not price matching this ad

b) the only way to get the lower price was to buy one at the sale price and return it with the reciept from my original purchase

c) they were sold out of the TV

d) I could put in a special order for the TV but I would have pay for it now and hope that it came in before the 30 days return period for the first one expired.

After some discussion followed by a long period of silence he asked me for my phone number. Moments later he slid a reciept at me and said, "Sign here."

Let's just say I left much much happier and $540 richer than I was when I arrived.

I pwn Circuit City.

Shopping

Note to self: do not buy any high ticket electronics 10 days before Thanksgiving.

I talked the other half into getting a nice plasma TV as our Christmas gift to ourselves.

Since we are hosting Thanksgiving we decided to go ahead and buy it before the holiday so that the family could enjoy it while they were at our house.

Of course, it went on sale for two days the day after Thanksgiving. And, while this particular store has a 30 day price guarantee, they are refusing to honor that for Black Friday sales. Sigh. I'm going to have to order one and hope it comes in before my 30 return period it up and then "return" it using my original purchase receipt.

Bastards.

To top it all off, for whatever reason, the family watched our old TV while they were here.

I just don't get it.

He's an A$$hole

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Bowling Revisted

I missed Monday night bowling last week because I wasn't feeling well.

Last night, after we finished our warmup bowling I noticed the captain of my Wednesday night team (she's also on the women's association board) was on the approach and a voice came over the loudspeaker asking everyone to give their attention to her on lanes 31 and 32. The president of the ladies bowling association takes over the microphone to introduce Nancy and asks me to step out on the approach. Yep, it's that time. Presentation of my 299/752 awards. Woooooot! Even the men's association president was there to congratulate me.

I ordered a ring for my prize. Unfortunately somebody must have been living in a time warp because the inscribed date is off by a year - 2005. I'll mention it to Nancy on Wednesday night but I doubt there's anything that can be done. Still, very exciting to get my award.

Speaking of honor games: two of the bowlers on my team, Jimmy and Trey, have bowled 300 games this season - not on Monday night, which is something I need to ride them about. Sammy did bowl a very nice 800 series for us a few weeks ago.

Now on to last night's bowling.

We've been changing our lineup around from week to week. We couldn't really settle on a lineup that we like. For whatever reason, Jimmy and I both seemed to bowl better when we bowled after Trey. But this week we didn't bother changing it and I was bowling after Jimmy and Trey was after me.

My first game was a less than stellar 165. I wasn't carrying and kept missing some easy spares.

The second game started off nicely. Between visiting with the guys and just goofing off we were bowling decent. I kept looking at the scoreboard and thinking that Jimmy was bowling really well while I was holding my own and had a decent chance of beating my average.

It wasn't until I was bowling my second or third ball in the 10th frame that I realized I HAD BEEN THINKING MY SCORING LINE WAS JIMMY'S FOR THE WHOLE GAME! It's easy to see why I would think that since Jimmy is such a good bowler and I'm not nearly as consistent as he is.

I had one spare in the second frame and all the rest were strikes. The tenth frame went XX9. It wasn't until after the first strike, maybe even the second of the 10th frame that I realized what I had been thinking! OMG, I am an idiot.

Before I threw the last ball, I told them all what I'd been thinking the whole game. We got a really good laugh at that.

Jimmy was bowling a good game and ended up with a 236. I ended up bowling a 267.

I was back to struggling for the 3rd game, finished with a 175. Just missed a 600 for the night with a 596. At least I managed to make my average overall.

It was nice to hang out with the guys again. I do miss them when I don't bowl.

Pokerslut Tour

Luck>>Skill

Click for a larger view

Stumbled... Again

Ok, i snorted.... multiple times.

Fun with Telemarketers

Another priceless Stumble find.

The Ultimate Revenge On A Telemarketer
Uploaded by SaveManny

Monday Madness

There's nothing like getting up on Monday with the best of intentions. I have shopping to do, errands to run, etc.

After running through my normal morning routine: warm beverage, email, bloglines, etc., I suddenly don't feel so hot. A nap is starting to look really good.

A few minutes after landing back in bed I'm overwhelmed by that not so welcome urge to run for the nearest bathroom. Rinse repeat.

Something tells me this won't be a very productive day.

Chat

gadzooks1995: Man, where is everybody on Friday?
gadzooks1995: It's so boring around here
gadzooks1995: started reading the Navarro tell book... not very far in
Zerbet: mere moments from posting
gadzooks1995: I await your golden words o wisdom? humor? snark?
Zerbet: slutage
gadzooks1995: oooooh
gadzooks1995: the best stuff evah!
gadzooks1995: linkage?
Zerbet: http://pokersluts.blogspot.com/
Zerbet: :)
gadzooks1995: ahhh the guest poster
Zerbet: you misspelled poser
gadzooks1995: poseur?
Zerbet: indeed
gadzooks1995: you left me out
gadzooks1995: aren't I in the running as well?
Zerbet: in theory
Zerbet: you first me seventh or worse
Zerbet: you second me eighth or worse
Zerbet: etc.
Zerbet: ran out of haiky
Zerbet: or ku
gadzooks1995: lol
Zerbet: as the case may be
gadzooks1995: haikucky?
gadzooks1995: oooh I love T's sharkscope post
Zerbet: mkay edited
Zerbet:

But What Of Gadzooks?
A Double Leap Frog is Hard
Stud Hi/Lo, who knows!

gadzooks1995: lol
gadzooks1995: I'm just hoping you two donk
gadzooks1995: that's my strategy
Zerbet: glwt
Zerbet: me, sure; her, pry not
Zerbet: beotch that she is
gadzooks1995: so there's hope?
Zerbet: :)
Zerbet: glimmer
Zerbet: faint
Zerbet: pre pre pre dawn
gadzooks1995: lol
gadzooks1995: so you're saying there's hope!
Zerbet: I love that movie
Zerbet: NOT
gadzooks1995: which movie?
Zerbet: seriously?
gadzooks1995: seriously
gadzooks1995: I may have seen it but I'm certainly not quoting it
Zerbet: hang on a sec
Zerbet: crap IMBD doesnt have it
Zerbet:

Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.

gadzooks1995: Somethign about Mary?
Zerbet: dumb and dumber
Zerbet: but good guess
gadzooks1995: oh
gadzooks1995: same genre . . . stupid movies
Zerbet: zackery
gadzooks1995: BTW, I think I'ma use part of this chat as my next blog post if you don't mind
Zerbet: whatever cranks your pump handle, maam
gadzooks1995: lol, cheap postage... I'll take it every time

Bus Stop

When we first bought this lovely corner lot in this small new neighborhood that is loaded with kids it never occurred to me that corner lots make the best.... bus stops.

My kids were delighted when they found out the bus would be picking them up at the end of our driveway. Me, well I thought it was a good thing since they were still pretty young and I could keep and eye on them.

That was before I realized that they and the other bus stop kids were going to play with every toy in the garage and leave them scattered on the floor and driveway when the call of "Buuuuuu u u uuuuus!" went out. My driveway became the before school playground.

And what happens on the playground I ask you?

Drama.

Yep, drama. There, I said it.

Since we live at the bus stop my two gene pools decided that they should always be first in line. It was always whoever got there first with their backpack was first. So my oldest was always out there dumping his pack to hold his spot. There wasn't too much drama about that until the youngest decided that wasn't fair. So I told them to take turns.

It didn't occur to me, at the time, that they were treating this as a birthright until one day another parent explained to me that my child, yes MY CHILD, was telling everybody that it was HIS day to be first even though SOMEBODY else beat him to the bus stop. WTF?!?!? AND, he had the nerve to tell the other kids that he and his brother were to take turns being first!!! OMG! I am an idiot.

I assured this parent that the caveat was that they had to be the first out there. She assured me that she never doubted for a minute that that was what I had intended. Her son had suggested that they line up youngest to oldest and rotate positions getting one person closer to first each day then going to the back of the line. BRILLIANT I said. Drama resolved.

After two years of my driveway being the bus stop something odd happened this year.... the.bus.stop.was.moved.across.the.street. Cue the heavenly choir for a rousing rendition of the Halleluiah Chorus.

Finally, Peace on Earth, at least the little part called my driveway.

Laundry Day

Yeah, it's that day. They day we all live for.

Those single people know it as, "I don't have anymore clean underwear day," or "Everything I own has been worn at least once and looks like it day."

For married people it means, "my spouse is going to embarrass me tonight if I he/she has nothing clean to wear at dinner with our friends."

For people with kids it's more like, "the teachers at school are going to wonder if we had to go on food stamps because the kids look like street urchins that have worn the same clothes everyday for the last week."

Welcome to Marathon Laundry Day.

Errrr, soo o o o o not me!
(photo homage to El Hrbek)

The day when you make 10 loads of laundry into 6 by cramming the machine full to the rim.

Oh, yeah, that's more like it.

Unfortunately, my marathon Laundry Day coincides with "Stand In Line For Hours To Vote Day."

Oh joy.

Looks like the other half will be on duty after work today so I can go vote.

P.S. Note to self: Laundry room HORRIBLE place to keep kids' stash of Halloween Candy.

Shower Heads

One of life's little pleasures is taking a shower.

We are spoiled.

Used to be everybody took a bath. If they bathed at all.

Everybody has those things that they are unusually picky about, for me, it is showerheads.

When we were living in our last house I lucked out and found a Speakman showerhead on closeout at Lowe's. At the time I was clueless about the brand. I've since learned that all the higher end hotel chains use them. I fell in love with that showerhead. I even planned on taking it down when we sold that house but for some reason [I'm old and forgetful] I couldn't find the original equipment showerhead and ended up leaving that one behind.

Fast forward to new house. The original Delta shower heads that we ended up with had a lot of potential. Unfortunately my guilty conscience wouldn't let me take out the flow restrictors so we lived with the less than dazzling spray intensity.

After a while I decided to try one of the rainfall heads that I bought for the guest bath.

Unfortunately, rainfall = no pressure but lots of water. I prefer a strong pelting.

Pretty much everytime I go to the local home improvement center I peruse the bath aisle for any new and exciting finds. I ran across this nice looking showerhead and couldn't resist the urge to give it a whirl.

I give it a A for looks, an A for coverage but only a B for intensity.

Our master shower has two showerheads. Yeah, I know, I'm spoiled.

My husband doesn't share my enthusiasm for showerheads so I never bothered to buy him a new one.

The other day I was watching the stream from his and it was nothing less than anemic. This time I decided I would break down and buy another Speakman - why I hadn't before is beyond me since the last actually cost more than the Speakman.

I made the other half install it - I usually do all that kind of stuff. I asked how the installation went and he mumbled about not being able to get something out of the arm. Now that got my attention. I unscrewed the head and there was some funky plastic thing stuck in the arm that resembled a blue whale's plankton screen, ie, the funkiest flow restrictor I'd ever seen. I pried that thing out of there so fast. The improvement was nothing short of miraculous.

I swear, I dunno how he tolerated his old shower head. You couldn't even get the shampoo out of your hair with that pressure. I consider flow restrictors as a necessary evil but two is just waaaaay too many (the head has one built-in).

So, trust me, go to your favorite home center and pick up one of these bad boys. The first thing you'll notice is that it's 5 times as heavy as those cheap ones. Gotta have a sturdy housing to get any kind of pressure - if you recall your Fluid Dynamics from college. The $40 is worth it every morning when you get in the shower. I probably don't need to tell you we now have two!

Plagiarism II

OK, I've got a list of blogs a mile long that I read.

Occassionally I come across some real gems that I'm compelled to steal and put on my blog.

You people must spend hours and hours goofing off on YouTube and Google Videos.

But, at least you are saving me from hour and hours of goofing off.... oh wait.




Oh great, now look what you've done and done... sigh, I foresee hours and hours wasted at Google Video.

Stumble Upon

Stumble Upon has got to be the coolest web tool ever. Sign up, click the Stumble button and off you go on an adventure. I have never failed to find all kinds of interesting stuff when I Stumble.

Candy! Candy! Candy!

Yes. It's that time of year. Time for all good parents to buy kilotons of candy to hand out the neighborhood chillins. That is, after they hold back their person favorite candies in a secret place guarded by better security than Fort Knox. Nothing warms the heart like hearing kids whine about there being no Reese's cups in the cauldron of snacks I'm handing out!

I, like most people, buy those enormous bags of mixed chocolate candies at the local club warehouse. [insert Sam's Club joke here] All my friends know I have a special place in my heart for Sam's Club.

Unfortunately, those mixes always have one or two good things and the rest are marginal. The marginal stuff comes into play only when all the good stuff is gone. Suddenly marginal doesn't look so bad when the chocolate buzz starts to wear off and you are thinking about killing someone if you don't get another chocolate fix IMMEDIATELY!

Sometimes you feel like a nut.

Does anybody remember when 100 Grand bars where called 10,000 bars? or something like that anyway. I guess that's what they call candy inflation!

Two more personal favorite is Rolo and Riesen candies. But those are never in any mix.

No post about junk food would be complete without ... Fritos.

Fritos are the Devil.

That is all.

Men With Cramps

http://www.menwithcramps.com/

Plagiarized

gadzooks1995: hahahah this guy's accent is a scream
khanlady: ya i love it
gadzooks1995: hanyway
gadzooks1995: shit shit what the fuck is shooting us
gadzooks1995: lol
khanlady: hehehe
gadzooks1995: so the U.S. is like, fuck we're dumbassses
gadzooks1995: hahahahaha
gadzooks1995: WTF?
gadzooks1995: hahahah, OMG this is funny shit
khanlady: ya i love it when i found that
gadzooks1995: ok, I need the link to that
gadzooks1995: cause I'm so posting it on my blog
gadzooks1995: that's how funny I think it is
khanlady: hahahaha
khanlady: i was crackin up too, just watched it again actually
khanlady: and australia was still like WTF?
gadzooks1995: yeah
gadzooks1995: and some huge meteor is like FUCK THAT
gadzooks1995: lol
khanlady: hahahaha
gadzooks1995: HOMYGAWD get me that LINK damnit
gadzooks1995: BTW, I'm posting this chat with it lol
khanlady: lol

I watched this at least a half dozen times and it just gets funnier and funnier. So I will shamelessly steal from someone else's blog for my post today. Sue me.

Corruption

squibster: restaked :-(
squibster: and I blame the slut tour
gadzooks1995: that's not a bad thing
gadzooks1995: kewl
gadzooks1995: we corrupted you? woooot!
squibster: lol
squibster: yeah
squibster: corrupted

Taekwondo

The gym I belonged to in Indiana offered Taekwondo classes for kids. Thinking this would give my kids something to do while I worked out I signed them up. It was a very small class and they were the only kids. They got a lot of one on one instruction. It turned out that the owner was the grandmother of one of AJ's classmates.

After we moved to Illinois I didn't have much luck finding an acceptable (close to my house) place for them to do Taekwondo. During the t-ball season of '05 we met some of our new neighbors and while discussing different sports the kids participated in we found out about a TKD school nearby. The owners/instructors were a married couple that were former olympians! Well, this I had to look into.

The kids were hooked from the first class on. This was nothing like what they had done before. Very structured and organized. No small classes. But very well run! We loved it.

The boys were dying to go to a tournament. We signed them up for a tournament in Rochester, MN for the first week a April '06. We planned a great long weekend with a side trip to the Mall of America. The trip was a success when each won a medal and spent a day at the theme park in the Mall.

This season started in September. The school was kicked out of their former home but found another school to merge with at the local family Y. The school hosted a tournament today with several schools traveling to Peoria to participate. The turnout for this was significantly less than the last tournament but that only improved their chances of winning a medal.

It turned out that they were in a group of only 3 kids competing against each other. My boys ended up getting gold and silver for the form competition!

They got silver and bronze for breaking.

Sparring is probably the most exciting park of the competition. AJ loves it. Dillon would rather not do it.

AJ was pwned by his first opponent. Tears ensued.

Dillon was pwned as well.

AJ had to spar for 3rd place. He wasn't too thrilled about having to do it again after having his youknowwhat handed to him the first time, but he must have found something to get worked up about because he totally pwned this guy! Wooooooot! Another bronze medal.

My kids rock!

Ex Sex

I remember the day when you broke up with someone and pretty much never saw them again. None of this calling, texting, AIMing, booty calling, etc., after it was all over with. You just moved on to the next loser, er, person.

Is this a new thing? Post break up sex? Why would you want to go there? I just don't get it.

I know two people that basically asked my permission (yeah, I don't get that either) to have sex with their exes. I strongly discouraged it. But apparentlly I was wrong about that, because at least one of them did it anyway. I have to give him credit for fessing up to it, much later of course.

Horny soul number two is trying to talk himself out of it but I'm sure he'll cave, too, and I'll end up listening to the first 8 stanzas of "I can't believe I did that" over and over again.

Welcome to the new millenium.

Pokerpalooza!

OMGWTF?!?!?!? I'm too old for this.

As many of you already know I went to Pokerpalooza - Indy this past weekend.

Pokerpalooza was a gathering of the FullTiltForum members that could make it to Indy for some friendly poker playing and general debauchery.

We arrived around 4:00ish. While the other half unloaded the van I contacted the two forum members that had already arrived. We hung out in the "suite" part of my room for a while then headed off to dinner.

Amish, Zooks (me) and Lynx

As soon as we got back from dinner we took over the "breakfast" area of the hotel lobby. The table was felted, adult beverages poured, and the cards and chips were soon flying.

Sly shows off his powerhouse hand - CBL!

Zooks, REVina, amish, and Lynx

Lynx checks out his hole cards

DTM - is he cute or what? He's available!

Asian! What's with the hat?

We don't know it yet but Mrs. Sly was going to kick our butts this weekend.

We played two full table sngs. DTM and Mrs. Sly decided to chop the first one. Zooks and DTM played the second one out since DTM had a huge chip lead he wasn't too interested in offering me a chop. I hope to get it all in with two live cards but I was DENIED!

K5>>>75, Pinche Rio
(board reads right to left in this case)

Those wild and crazy young people played a short handed sng after the oldtimers (me included) went to bed.

The next day found us all dragging a little bit. We managed to scare up a game after lunch.

Pretty soon it was time to start setting up the conference room for the main event - a $20 deep stack tourney. REV and IlliniFan did a great job getting all the stuff set up. Tables were felted and away we go. REV had invited a bunch of his local degenerate friends to play with us. We ended up with 27 players.

It wasn't too long before we had an all in!

Predator was playing fast and furious!

Predator's table lost the first 4 people if I remember correctly. He did manage to hit Quad As to double up but he was still pretty short stacked and ended up going out pretty early.

Squib and Lynx hanging to make the final table.

Sly shows off his stack.

Say it with me, Eddaaaay!

T bought me this shirt when she was in Vegas to play the WSOP ME.
She loves me!

Teresa (Pwner of Yoll) and Predator.

Carraaaay (soon to be a poker playa) and Eddaaaaaay!

Couldn't leave REV outta the pictures!

The Effers did make a nice showing for themselves. I think 7/10 final table players were from the forum. I'm pretty sure all the cashers were FTFers! Wooooot! Asian ended up bubble boy but a deal had been made while he was still a pretty large stack to pay the bubble bitch his buyin back. So after all that play he ended up even for the night. Amish ended up coming from behind and winning after a HU battle with Mrs. Sly! To be fair, it must be said that Mrs. Sly was slightly "handicapped" by that point in the evening.

As people busted out a loser's lounge sng was started. Since I didn't bust out soon enough to play it I have no idea who won it but there was a lot of exciting hands being played based on all the whooping and hollering coming from that direction.

A ring game was set up with the next 5 or so players to bust and it was filled up rather quickly. I played in that a while but I was pretty much card dead all weekend. I played one hand where I chased a flush only to end up doubling up Lynx with his set of 2s. I guess I was just in the mood to gambol!

By far and away the best part of the weekend was getting to spend face time with all the people that I "talk" to online. Although I had physically met most of the people before it was amazing - even the first time we met - how comfortable it was; not at all like meeting strangers for the first time, definitely like meeting long lost friends.

We're already working on a plan to have a Pokerpalooza - Vegas, Baby! We're shooting for May but maybe July would be better so we could catch some WSOP action at the same time. So if you are in Vegas and see a diverse crowd of people acting wild and crazy and thoroughly enjoying themselves screaming things like, "You have CBL don't you!", "Damn you and your Panger!", "OMGWTF, I've been dimmified!", "Man I wish DTM and Asian were here!" and "Man, we've gotta post that on the forum." then you know you IT'S THOSE DAMN FTFERS!